| santa doc.me bimar hu doc. hasne laga santa had hai yar ab to sardaro ki har bat hi logo ko mazak lagati hai........ "Teacher : usne khudkhushi kar li, use khudkhushi karni padi, farak batao student : pehla padha likha berojgar tha, dusra shadi-suda tha" |
| ek Aadmi dusre admi ko peet raha tha Aur khud jor jor se ro raha tha. jab logo ne usse pucha ki tum kyo ro raheho to usne kha- jab mai ise chodunga to ye bhi mujhe ise trah pitega. |
Why did HARBHAJAN slap Srisanth..?Aftr d match he asked Bhajji Oye Paji, LOG CHLOROMINT KYU KHATE HAIN?Bhajji slapped & saidDUBARA MAT POOCHHNA |
| Jyotishi ladke Ka Haath Dekhkar bola: "Beta Tum Bahut Padhoge"Ladka: "Saale,Padh To Main 3 saal Se Raha Hu, Yeh Bata Paas Kab Hounga...??" |
| Why did HARBHAJAN slap Srisanth..?Aftr d match he asked Bhajji 'Oye Paji, LOG CHLOROMINT KYU KHATE HAIN?'Bhajji slapped & said 'DUBARA MAT POOCHHNA' |
| A New Teacher Joins schoolHe Finds Two Boys Similar In Appearance.Teacher asks - "kya TUM Judva ho.??Boy-: jee nahi..Hum Padosi hain. |
| Teacher : usne khudkhushi kar li, use khudkhushi karni padi, farak batao student : pehla padha likha berojgar tha, dusra shadi-suda tha |
| MunnaBhai: Teray ko maaloom hai k cigarette aik tarah say slow poison ka kaam karta hai. Patient: To mujhay konsa marnay ki jaldi hai. |
| Boy:Tum gaana bahut achcha gaate ho.Gal:Nahi, mein to sirf bathroom singer hoon.Boy:To bulaao na kabhi, mehfil jamaate hain |
| teacher-osama ki 5 biwi & 20 bachche.lalu ki 1 biwi aur 9 bachche,to batao kaun achcha? studnt-score to osama ka zyada hai par strike rate lalu ka achcha hai |
| Ek bacha paida hote hi nurse se bola-mobile hai kya?Nurse:-hai pr tu kya karega Bacha:kuch nhi bs God ko miss cal krni hai ki me pahunch gya. |
| Sindhi Cals News Paper off. 2ask Rate 2 Print 4 Mortuary Clerk:Rs50 Per Word S:"Dada Dead" C:No,Min 5 Words S:OK,Dada dead,Honda 4 Sale! |
| Pati Patni me ladai ho gai,Pati ghar se chala gya Raat ko phone karke pucha:"Khane me kya he Patni:zaher pati:me der se aunga,tum khakar so JANA |
| Teacher student se:Tere pitaji ki karde ne Student:Ji woh PWD chalaunde ne!Teacher:Tera matlab Public Works Department?Student:Na ji na,PWD matlab Pakodeyaan waali dukaan |
| 1 Admi Apni biwi se bola-Raja dashrath ki 3 raniya thi.Is hisab se main 2 shadian or kr sakta hu.Biwi-Bas itna yad rakhna k Dropdi k 5 pati bhi they. |
| Wife to husband: see breaking news.. 80 yr old man ne shaadi kar li.Husband: sari umar samazdari se bitayi, akhri me bewakufi kar hi di |
| REPORTELalu Ji. The poor women in bihar dont have clothes to wear.LALU: U FOOL, Tum FTV dekhte ho? rich women bhi cloth nahi pehenti hai.Ye fashionwa hai. |
| Bhikari: Sahab ek rupya de do. Sahab: Tumhe sharam nahi road par khade hokar bheek mangte ho Bhikari: Abe tere ek rupye k liye office kholu kya. |
| WIFE:SUNA HAY KAY JANNAT MEIN HUSBAND KAY SATH WIFE KO NAHEEN REHNAY DETE HUSBAND:THEEK SUNA HAI.WIFE:AISA KYOUN?HUSBAND:ARAY PAGLI ISI LIAY TU USAY JANNAT KEHTE HEIN. |
| Patni- Jante ho maine 20 somwar ke upwas kiye tab jakar tumhein paya hai. Pati- Ye sab nahi karti to kya hota. Patni- Tumse bhi koi gaya guzara milta |
| Ramu on cycle hit Lady accidentally..Lady: "Break Nahi Mar sakte Kya?"Ramu: "Poori Cycle he Marde ab Break kya alag se maru?" |
| Narad muni dharti par BEER pene aye,12 botal pilane k bad, waiter:Apko chadti kyu nahi? Narad:Main BHAGWAN hoon.waiter:Chad gayi SALE ko… |
| WIFE : kyu ji! Jab bhi me aapke pass aati hu to aap Chasma pahen lete ho? HUSBANd : Doctor ne kaha hai jab SHIR-DARD aaye to Chasma pahen lena… |
| PATNI PATI SE:-Aji Agar Me Gum Ho Gai To Tum Kya Karoge...?Pati:-Its A Time To Disco,Kon Dhundega Tujko, Kabhi Na Mile Tu Mujko,Its the time to disco.. |
| BHIKHARI:MAAI,EK RUPIYA DE DE!! 3 DIN SE BHUKHA HU!MAI EK RUPIYE KA TU KYA KAREGA?BHIKHARI:WEIGHT KARVAUNGA, DEKHNA HAI KITNA KAM HUA hai |
| Shivji-Bhakt main tumhari tapasya se khush hu,bol kya chahiye?Man-D.J System dedo prabhu.S-Abe gadhe!D.J.hota to mai damru kyu bajata? |
| One person asks to another:bhai ye khushi kya hoti hai?Second person replies:pata nahi bhai meri toh BACHPAN mein hi shaadi ho gayi thi. |
| Wife: ye ladkiyo ko dekhna bandh karo tumhari sadi ho gayi he.Husband: matlab ye ki me diating pe rahu to menu card dekhna bhi chhod du |
| bacha: Mom kya aapne mujhe paida hone se pehle dekha tha?Mummy: Nahi tobacha: To fir paida hone k baad aapne mujhe pehchana kaise?? |
| Boy friend: Tumhare Ghar Gaya Tha, Mujhe Nahi Lagta Hamari Shadi Ho Payegi.Girlfrnd: Qu Mere PAPA Se Mile Kya?BF: NAHI TUMHARI BEHEN SE. |
| Beta:Papa apki shaadi ho gayi?Papa:Haan..Beta:Kis se hui??Papa:Bewkuf teri mummy se..!Beta:Wah papa ghar me hi setting kar li..! |
| Mummy:jo mera sabse jyada kehna manega,usse hi me ye saari toffies dungiSonu:tab to ye saari toffee papa ko hi milengi. |
| Aaj Maine 1 Jaan Bachai.Pucho kaise? Bhikhari Ko Pucha.. 1000 Ka Note Du To Kya Karega? bola- Khushi Se Mar Jaunga. Maine NHI DIYA |
| Dad ne robot kharida jo jhuth sunke thapad marta thaDAD: Y r u so late?SON: Xtra class.Rbt slapd d son SON: Went fr a movie.DAD: Konsi?SON: Bal Ganesha Robt ne fir maraSON: Kaatil JawaniDAD: I've nvr seen such films. Rbt slapd d father Mom: Jhuth hee bolega, aakhir aapka hi beta hai. Robot slapd the mother. |
| Circut:Bhai ye doctor log operation se pahele mariz ko behosh kyon karte hai?Munna:Bole to patient operation krna sikh na jaye ishiliye |
| Wife saw sign board Banarasi sari 10/- Nylon sari 8/- Cotton sari 5/- Wife:give me 500 Rs I'll buy manyHsbnd=Andhi,ye istri ki dukan hai |
| Boy asks: Tute hue dil se pyar karogi, ya dil tutne tak pyar karogi. Girl replies: Tute hue sandal se pitoge ya sandal ke tutne tk pitoge |
| Circuit:Bhai Amrican Rashtrapati kidherko rehta hai?Muna:DHOBIGHAT peCirt:Dhobighat boletoh?Muna:Englsh mein usko WASHING TOWN bolneka |
| Sharabi ne Doc se pucha-Aap meri sharab chudva sakte ho? Doc-Ha kyu nahi. Sharabi-Toh mum Police ne meri 200 bottle pakdi hai. Pl chudva do |
| Wife:kal raat tum nind me mujhe galiya de rahe the.Hub:Tumhe galat fehmi hui hai.Wife:kaisi galat fehmi?Hub:Yehi ki main soya hua tha |
| Teacher:Prove tht things compress wid cold & expand wid heat.Student:Sir, garmiyo ki chuttiya 45 hoti hai aur sardiyo me sikud ke 7 reh jati |
| Shaadi par wife boli: Aap mere PRANNATH aur mein apke CHARNO KI DASI.Shaadi ke baad wo ho gaya CHARANDAS aur wo hogayi PRANO KI PYASSI |
| Husband : Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Faayada Hua.Wife : Kaun Sa Faayada?Husband : Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee Hi Mil Gai |
| 1 ladki darzi ki dukan pe jati he or puchti he- Ji yaha gale milte he? DARZI:Waise gale milte to nhi lekin aap kehti he to Mil lete he |
| Boy: Darling Humare Pyaar k bare me kisi ko mat batana, Girl: Priya ko to zaroor bataungi,kehti thi kon pagal hoga jo tujhse Pyaar krega! |
| Passengr 2 Bus-Conducto Kitne Ghante Bus Me Rahete Ho?Conductr- 24 Ghante!P- Wo Kaise?Cond- "8 Ghante BUS Me Baki 16 Ghante BIWI KE BAS ME" |
| BeggaSir,Family se dur ho gaya hu.Milne ke liye 140 Rs ki zarurat Hai. SETH: Kahan hai tera fmily? Begr-Samne PVR me film dekh raha hai. |
| Ladki apne BF se:Mera Bachha Mera Ladla Mera Sonu-monu Mujhse Shaadi karoge? Bolo Baby BF: Tum mujhe Propose kar rahi ho ya Adopt. |
| SARDAR &SARDARNI were FIGHTING. SARDAR says:tu SAALI KUTTI! SARDARNI replies:tu SAALA KUTTA! the KIDS was near them said "HUM SALE PUPPY! |
| Pathan:Kya Ye Mahina 31 Ka Nhi ha ? Dost:Haan 31 Ka hA Pathan: Phr Ye Log Kyu Shor Macha Rhe Hain LONG MARCH LONG MARCH… |
| Ganja-Going On Road,Bird Shits On Head "Hey Bhagwan Ye Kya Hua? Bhagwan-Bacha Tu itni Dhupme Ja Raha He,Maito Sirf Sunscreen Lotion Dala he. |
| 1 larki ne aadhi raat ko larke ko fon kiya: Ghar ajao ghar per koi nhi hai! Larka chla gya. Ghar pe waqai koi nhi tha Taala lga tha.. |
| Nurse:Mubarak ho! Aap k Ghar Beta paida hua hai ASHU:Wah! Kya Technology Hai! Biwi Meri Hospital me hai or Bacha mere ghar paida hua hai |
| Police-chor se-" wada karo aagey se kabhi jeb nahi katoge !"Chor-"mai wada karta hun ab aagey se nahi balki pichhe se jeb katungA.." |
| 1dost:Agr Me Subah Apni Car Me Niklu To Sham Tak Me Apni Aadhi Zamee B Nahin Dekh Sakta!!2ra dost:Hamare Pas B Pahle Aisi Hi Car Thi!! |
| Girl: Jaan Mujhe Aise PURPOSE Karo Jaise Aaj Tk Kisi Ne Na Kiya Ho.. Boy: Kamini, I LOVE U,Mujhse Shadi Karke Mujhe Tabah Kar De Kambakht.! |
| Train me 1 macchar chinese par baitha.Wo pakad k kha gaya.Fir 1 macchar marwadi pe baitha.Usne pakad k chinese se pucha : kharidoge kya ? |
| Husband - Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Bada Faayda Hua Hai.Wife - Woh Kya.?Husband - Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee Hi Mil Gayi.! |
| Shrma: Yar Mujhe Subah-2 Sans Lene me problem atti H. Varma: Problem to ayegi hi Subah-2 Baba Ramdev K chele saari oxygen jo khinch lete Hai |
| Munna: Ye sala College ka fullform kya hota hai?Circuit: Apun ko malum hai na bhai,C-ComeO-OnL-LetsL-LoveE-EveryG-GirlE- Everyday. |
| Q: "Naari" ka matlab kya hai ?Ans: "Naari" ka matlab hai Shakti.Q: To phir "Purush" ka matlab kya hai ?Ans: very simple ..... "Sehan Shakti" |
| Dr.-Kal dawai PEELI thi?Patient-Nahi, wo to LAAL thiDr.(shouted)-Mera matlab KHA LEE thi?Patient-Nahi Doctor Sahab, wo to BHARI thi ! |
| Sir:bacho kasam lo ki kabhi Sharab,cigrete,jua or ladki ko nahi chuoge.Desh k liye jaan doge? Bacche:de denge sir,aisi Jindagi jikar Kya Karenge. |
| Sir-Tum Kal school Q nahi aaye?Raj-sir mujhe bird flu ho gya tha.Sir-bird flu to murgiyo ko hota h?Raj-sir aap rozana murga jo banate The.. |
| Ek Dehati aurat chequecash karwane bank gyi Clerk:Sign karo Aurat:Kaise?Clerk:Jaise khat kaakhir me karti ho She wrote:AAP K MUNNEKI MAA |
| Raabadi ask Lalu:Suniyeji 'Dahi Jamane' ko english me kya bolun? Lalu:Milk was sleepin in the Nightwa,early in the morning it bcom tightwa.! |
| Doctor:Agar kisi LADKI ko mirgi ka attack ho to use lambikiss karo,Wo thiq ho jayegi..Student:"Par use attack kaise dilaye jaye?" |
| Boy-suit bahut accha pehna hai.Grl-thnxB-Lipstick b acchi lagai hai.G-thnxB-mak up bhi bahut accha kia hai.G-thnx"BHAIYA" B-fir bhi sunder nahi lag rhi ho! |
| Son:Papa kya aap kabhi Egypt gaye ho??Papa:Nahi,Par kyu?Son:Toh fir aap itni Khofnaak mummy kaha se laye.. |
| Judge- Aap bahut bahadur hai, aapne us chor ko itna maara. Woman- Mujhe kya pata wo chor hai,mujhe laga mera pati thoda late ghar aaya he!! |
| Premika-Tum to bass apne kaam mai lage rehte ho. meri to koi parwah hi nahi hai tumhe! premi-Oyee pyar karne wale kisi ki parwah nahi karte |
| Tax Officr was laughing while auditing d return file of mallika sherawat, Another officr askd what hapnd?OfficeLaundry ka bil '7lack' bataya hai. :)-- |
| Janwaro ki Party me Chuha 4 peg Laga K Set tha Billi-Aaj Party Na Hoti to Me Tujhe Kha Jaati.Chuha-Abe chali ja, Nhi to log kahenge ki pi k jaanani ko peet di |
| BETA-Papa,Sab Log Shaadi karke pareshan hai,to Fir Shaadi kyo karte hai?FATHER-Beta,Akkal Badaam khane se Nahi, Thokar khane se Hi Aati ha |
| Ladki apne Boyfrnd se :Mera BachaMera ShonaMujhse Shaadi karoge.?Bolo Baby.?Bfrnd :Tu Mujhe Propose kar rahi he ya adopt. |
| Bhakt: Bhagwanji aap kab kush hote ho, Bhagawan:jab hindi film me vilan ladki ko pakadata hai tab ladki bolti hai please mujhe bhagawan ke liye chod do. |
| A BOY on Drive Date in BMW.. Maine tumse ek baat chupayi hai I'm already married Girl:Tumne to dara diya, Main Samjhi BMW tumhari Nahi he |
| BANIA apne bacho se: Jo raat ko khana nahi khayega,use 5rs dunga Bache 5-5 rs le kar so gaye. Subah bola Jo 5rs dega use khana milega!! |
| Passenger-Tumne mere jeb me hath kyu dala Somu-Muje Machis chahiye thi Pasen-Tum mujhse mang sakte the Somu-Me ajnabi s bat nhi karta.. |
| Snta 2 a doc: Apne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai, uska hath lagte hi me theek ho gaya. Dc: Janta hu, thappad ki awaaz mujhe b sunai di thi .. |
| Hmari new Generation Miss ne kG 1 class k bache se kha 1 se 10 tak gino me tume kiss krongi.Bcha bola:agr me 1 se 100 tk ginu to kya package hai? |
| 2 admiyo ki Biwiyan Gum ho gayi,1 bola:teri Biwikesi hai?2:Blue eyes,Rosy lips & charming,Aur teri?1:Meri chhod teri dhundhte ha |
| TeacheAgar Sache Dil Se Dua Ki Jaye, To Zaroor Poori Hoti He.. Ramu- Rehne Do Teacher.. Agar Aisa Hota To Aap Aaj Zinda Na Hoti! |
| Munna bhai:Arey Circuit mujhe Ek Nurse se Pyar ho gaya hai,Letter me kya Likhu?C-Simple bhai,Likhna"DEAR SISTER.I LOVE U,Tumhara MUNNA BHAI.. |
| Q. Who Is Girlfrnd ?Ans. Girlfrnd wo hoti hai,jo tok tok kar apki sari aadat badal de.Aur ek din kahe."Tum Pehle Jaise Nahi Rahe" |
| Class me bache khidki ke bahar monkey dekh rahe the. Tabhi teacher ne kaha->"Bachcho bahar bandar kyu dekh rahe ho jab me class me hu! |
| BeggaOh Sundari, andha hoon, paanch rupya de de Santa to his wife: De de, de de, tujhe sundari bola hai to har haal mein andha hai. |
| Heights of laziness: Boy-Papa 1glass pani dedo. Papa-Khudlelo. Beta-Plz dedo. Papa-Ab manga to thappad dunga. Beta-Jab thapad dene aaoge to pani lete aana. |
| papu:papa aapki luv marrige hui thi na baap:tumko kaise pata papu:wo aap ki shadi or meri date of birth me sirf 4 months ka farq hai… |
| Son:Me School nahi jaunga.Mom:kyu?Son:Naukri krunga.Mom:4th Class padhkar kya Kaam karoge?Son:3rd Stndrd k Ladkiyo ka tution lunga. |
| Papu- Papa!Humare Rastrapati Kon haiPapa-Gadha,Murakh gober itna nahi janta ja anderse G.K Ki Book le ke aa..fir batata hun |
| gupta in Jail-Bachpan me ma ki bat suni hoti to aj ye din na dekna padta Mehta-Kya kehti thi maa? gup-Jb bat hi nai suni to kaise batau |
| 1Ladka Apne Papa di marrige video dekhde hoye-Papa MeNe B Apni Shadi Pe item gals Nachani Hai.PAPA:Kute De Putra O Teri Mausiya Ha! ! |
| Gabbar-O Murgi Tuje 2 Ande Dene Ko Kaha Tha 1 Q Diya?Tujhe Mujse Dar Nahi Lagta.?Murgi-Dar Ki Wajh Se 1 Anda Diya haiWarna Me to Murga Hun.. |
| Teacher To Student: Tmhai'n Apne Papa Se Kitne Paise Milte Hyn ... ? Student : Mjhe Kia Milenge, wo Tou Khud Mummy Se Le Ker Jate Hyn |
| SON- Papa, Sab log Shaadi karke pareshan hai, to Shadi kyo karte hain? FATHER- Beta, Akl Badaam khane se nahi, Thokar khane se aati hai. |
| SHADDI k PEHLE ladka:-"Darling !! tum nhi to mai nhi.Aur mai nhi to tum nhi.SHADDI k BAAD ladka:-"Bhootni! ajj ya to tu nahi ya me nahi. |
| Wife-"Main Maike ja Rahi hu,tumhe Tallak ki Notice Bhej Dungi!"Husband-"Jaja,Mithi-Mithi Bate Karke mujhe Khush karne Ki Koshish mat kar.. |
| 1aurat jyotish k pas jakar hath dikhati heJytsh:Aap 3mahine me vidhva ho jayogi Aurat:Ye mujhe bi pata he ye batao pakdi jaaungi ya nahi |
| Air hostes pathan se,Sir,ap kya lena pasand karengePathn:Humare liye taveez wala chai lao,AHostes:Abey akhrot, woh taveez nahi tea bag he |
| Kid On 1st April: Kitchen Me Naukar, Naukrani Ko Kiss Kar Raha Hai. Mummy: Abhi Dimag Theek Karti Hu uska. Kid:April Fool wo toh PAPA hai. |
| Buddha Principal se:Zara BANTI ko bulado Principal:Aap kaon?Buddha:Uska dada Principal:Wo chhutti leker aapki MAYYAT me gaya hai. |
| Ek SHARABI SADHU se TAKRA Gaya.. SADHU Gusse Me:-Ae Murkh, Main Tujhe SHRAAP Deta Hu. SHARABI:-Rukiye Maharaj! Main GILAAS Lekar Aata hu.. |
| Girl 2 Pandit-Can i Kiss aMAN ?Pandit-RAM RAM KARO!Girl-CAN I KISS A BOY?Pandit-HARE KRISHNA KARO!Girl-CAN I KISS U?Pandit-SRI GANESHKARO! |
| Pappu Ladki Dekhne Gaya,Family Walo Ne Akele Bithaya..Pappu: Behanji,Aap Kitne Bhai-Behan Ho?Ladki: Pehle 3 The Ab 4 HO GAYE.. |
| Patni: Agar Me Kho Gai To Tum Kya Karoge, Pati:Me Akhbar Me Istehar Dunga, Patni:Tum Kitne Achhe Ho,Kya Likhwaoge Pati:Jaha b Raho Khus Rho |
| Jinn-Hukm aka Man-Gharse dubai tak road banaJinn-Mushkil h,or koi kam Man-Wife ko agyakari or samajdar banaoJinn-Road single banani hai ya double. |
| A Policeman asks his Son: Ithne Kam marks kyun laaye hoAaj se tera khelna, tv dekhna, bahar jaana sab bandhSon: Yelo 50 rupai......baath ko yahin katham karo |
| Husband:Darling!kahi saal pehle tumara figure bilkul 'Coke' ki bottel ki tara tha.Wife:Woh tho ab bhi hai ! bas pehle bottel 300ml ki thi ab 1.5ltr ki hai… |
| Operation ke baad patient bola: "Doctor saahab, Kyaa ab main aap logo se mukt hun..?" Uttar mila: "Beta,Doctor to neeche reh gaye, Main to Chitragupt hun..!! |
| Girl:Tum Hafte Main Kitni Bar Shave Karte Ho?Boy:Hafte Main Nahi, Din Main 30 Se 40 BaarGirl:Kya Tum Pagal Ho?Boy:Nhi,Main Naii Hoon |
| 1 Aadmi Ne Kaha Aisi Zindgi Se To Mout Achhi He Achanak Yamdoot Bola Tumhari Jan Lene Ka Hukam He Aadmi: Lo Batao Ab Insan Majak B Na Kare. |
| Man: Sir, my wife is missing. Postmaster:Bhai ye post office hai, Police station me complaint dijiyee.Man: Kya karun, khushi ke maare kuch samajh Nahi aa rha |
| Hathi ne chuhiya ko chheda Chuhiya hathi ki biwi k pas gai or boli samjha le apne mard ko,abhi to baaT aurto me he he, mard hamare ghar bi he |
| Pappu ne Jungle me ped pr Sanp(snak) ko latkte huve dkha Pappu-Sirf latak ne se height nai badegi Mummy ko bolo complan pilaye |
| Premi-ab Hamare Bich Kuch nahi Raha Tum Mere sare love letter Mujhe Louta 2 Premika Ye letters ka tokra rakha he isme apke ho Nikal lo. |
| Man knocks at door. 10yr old boy cums wid cigret in 1 hand & beer in other. Man-Papa ghar pe hai? Boy-Saale mujhe dekh k lag raha hai ki papa ghar pe honGE. |
| Judge: tum apne pati ko divorce kyu dena chahti ho?Lady: kyunki wo har aadhi raat ko uthkar bolta hai, "ab mujhe ghar jana chahiye...!! |
| Lagta hai meri aankh me kuch gir gaya hai, dekho to..Premi: Ek tinka dikh to raha hai,kyu na use wahi rahne diya jaye mai dubunga to sahara dega.!! |
| Chuha: 2 din ke liye teri chaddi dena, Hathi: Ha, Ha, Ha, Pahenega kya..??? Chuha: Nahi meri beti ki shaadi me mandap lagvana hE. |
| Laluji 1 month Bush Se english ki training le k wapis india aye 1 din phone aya Lalu:who is speaking? Jawab aaya:Hum Sasura Bushva hu |
| Cop 2 Sharabi:Whr r u goin? Shrabi:Daru pine se nuksan pe Parvachan Sunne Cop:Itni Raat ko kaun prvachn deta hai? Sharabi:Patni Aur Saas |
| Jo hamesha hasta raheta hai usko..HUSMUKH kahte hai, Aur jiska hasna hi bilkul bandh ho gaya hai usse kya kehte hai?HUSBAND |
| 1 ladki darzi ki dukan pe jati he or puchti he- Ji yaha gale milte he? DARZI:Waise gale milte to nhi lekin aap kehti he to Mil lete he. |
| Sir, kal raat Qaidiyo ne jail me Ramayan ki thi! Jailor : Isme itne hairan kyo ho? Sir,Hanuman bna Qaidi abhi tak sanjivni leker lauta nahi! |
| Patient:Dr. Saab, N khau to bhuk lagti he, N sou to Nind ati he,Zyada kaam kr k thak jata huDR.-beta sari Raat Dhoop me baitho.Theek ho jaoge. |
| Teachewhat is meant by "I MISS YOU" . . . . ~> Pathan: Is ka matlab hai "Mein tumhari miss hon!" |
| Bhakt: pandit ji. Aisi patni ko kya kahenge jo beautiful ho,intelligent ho, undrstndng ho,kabhi jealusy na kre aur 1 badiya cook ho. PanditJI- AFWAAH. |
| MUNNA BHAI :Mamu, tu kitna padha hai?MAMU :B.A.MUNNA BHAI :Sala, two lafz padha aur woh bhi ulta? |
| 1 baccha door bell bajane ki koshish kar raha tha,1 old man ne dekha.Wo gaya aur bell baja di,Aur bola:Aur kuch beta??????Baccha: AB BHAAGO. |
| In a interview: What is uvr qualification? SardaIam PHD. Intervievewhat do u mean? SardaPassed Highschool difficulty. |
| Girl-Dear hum kahan jaa rahe hai.Boy-Long Drive pe dear.Girl-Pehle kyon nhi bataya.Boy-Mujhe bhi abhi pata chala jab break fail hua. |
| 1 Andha Police Me Bharti Hone Ke Liye Gaya.Officer Ne Pucha"Tumhein Hum Kis Liye Rakhein?"Andhe Ne kaha "Andha-Dhund Fireing ke liye |
| Y does Waheeda Rehman never changes her saree in the film GUIDE?Coz Dev Anand says:O mere humrahi,meri baanh thame chalna,badle duniya SARI,tum na badalna..!! |
| Papu hotel me hath dhone jata hai or Basin dhone lag jata hai. Waiter-Sir ye kya kar rahe hai? Papu-Are yaha likha hai Na WASH BASIN.. |
| Pati : What's hypnotism ?Patni : Kissi ko,apne vash me kar ke,uss se mann chaha kam karwana..,Pati : Arey nahi,usse toh shaadi kehte he.: |
| Dost: "Tumhari toh RAM -SITA ki jodi lagti hai_ Man:"Bilkul Galat hai: Naa to koi meri biwi ko utha ke le jaata hai, Naa hi ye dharti me samaati hai! |
| PREMI:Abewafa tune mera DIL jalakar rakh kar diya. PRMIKA:Teri kurbani bekar nahin jaye gi bhej de rakh bartan majne ke kam ayegi |
| Munna bhai: Circuit ye valentine day kaun sa din hai? Circuit: Simple bhai aajkal valentine day ‘Kiss Day’ ko kahete hai. |
| 1 admi doston ki mehfil se raat late ghar gaya dosto ne pucha k wife ne kuch kaha to nahi admi bola nahi kuch khas nahi bus ye 2 dant to mai wesay bhi niklwane wala tha |
| CIRCUIT :Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai? SHORT CIRCUIT : Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai. |
| MUNNA BHAI : Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha. MAMU : Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya? MUNNA BHAI : Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai. |
| CIRCUIT: Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai. MUNNA BHAI: Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai. CIRCUIT: Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko. MUNNA BHAI: Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega. CIRCUIT: Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na. |
| Munna bhai: Abe circuite bata, agar bina dato ka kutta kate to kya karne ka? Circuit: simple he na bhai, bole to bina sui k 14 injection lagane ka. |
| marwadi on his death bed-My wife, r u here?yes i'm hereMy son?yes father. My daughter,r u here?yes i m dadTo phir saalo dukan par kaun hain??? |
| Santa Ne Bantase pucha:Tum postpaid ke bajay prepaid ko kyun use karte ho? Banta:Ppme bahut fayda hai, Isme cal honeke bad bil badhne ke bajay cum ho jata hai. |
| Husband & wifehotel gae tabhi 1Lady ne Helo kiya,Wife-kaun thi wo?Hus-tum dimag kharab mt kro mai pehle hi pareshan hu k usko kya btaunga k tum kaun ho.. |
| Marwadi sms:Jab BAGA me BAHAR awegi, tab mhare SMS ki BARSAT awegi, tanhaiya to thari dur ho jawegi par mharo BILL bhrawa kai thari sasu awegi.? |
| Hansa:Automatically ka matlab kya hota hai?Praful:Jab auto me koi ladki baithti hai aur uske sir pe ek bhi baal na ho to usko kehte hain,Auto-main-Takli! |
| Wife:Chalo na kahin chalte hai,ghumne car me.aur car me drive karungi. Husband:Yadi tum car drive karogi to jayenge car me,ayenge akhbaar me |
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