| Lasrte hue hanto se usne meri kalaiko uh chhua mano uska rom rom kah raha ho bhai sahab time kya hua ........ALCOHOLcontains FEMALE HORMONESProof:After drinkng, men gain weighttalk unnecesarilyBcome extra emotional& start fighting wthout any reason |
| HOW LUV CHANGES-B4 marriage:roses r red, violets r blue, u r beautiful, i luv u!After marriage:roses r dead, i'm blue, u get on my nerves, someday i'll kill u! |
| Do u know wat is the reason for unemployment in our country? Ans: Population. Do u know d reason for population in our country? Ans: Unemployment... |
| After a passionate kiss the girl whispers to the guy, "kiss me once more and I will be yours forever!" The guy says: "thanks for the warning |
| Chandni raat thi,nadi ka kinara tha,asman me taro ka nazara tha,premi ne pyar se muskarate hue premika se kaha..."Darling..beedi piogi |
| A prsn who surrenders whn he's wrong, is honest. A prsn who surrenders whn nt sure,is wise. A prsn who surrenders evn whn he's rite, he's husband ! |
| if a wife cries.. There may b a thousands of reasons..! But, if a husband cries.. There is only 1 reason - " WIFE " |
| In a park two lovers eating chips by lookin into each other eyes. Girl: dear wht r u thinking at this moment? Boy:I think u r eating more chips than me. |
| Tum ek aise DON ho jiske paas har locker ki chabi hai.Tabhi to apko 'DON' with 'KEY' kehte hain,aur hum pyar se.."DONKEY" kehte hain..! |
| Do you know what is the meaning of PYAR. Friends sitting in a BAR. & saying.... "P - YAR" |
| How to catch squirrels? Its simple.. First climb tree, Second Wait there! Squirrels will come in search of you! Coz they love Nutz! |
| Sir:Bijli Kaha Se Aati Hai?Banta: Mama K Ghar Se.Sir:Wo Kaise?Bnta: KyuKi Jab B Bijli Jati Hai Papa Kahte Hai Saalo Ne fir kaat di! |
| Ek chipkali ne gana sunaya? To baaki chipkaliya zameen par gir gayi..?? Pucho Kyun?? Qki baaki sabhi chipkaliya Taali mar rahi thi....... |
| Intizar... Na raat ka, Na din ka, Na subha ka, Na shaam ka, Na iska, Na uska.... Intizar hai to bas apke pyar bharay SMS ka. |
| kya aap ko pata hai ki es duniya me ek dil sirf aapike liya dhadakta hai aur o dil kiska hai? aapika aur kiska. |
| Mobile repair krne walay ko loose motion ho jaye to wo kaisey explain karega? Doctr sahab subah se missed calls aa rahi hain,outgoing main taklif ho rhi ha.Subah se naye naye ringtone baj rahe hain. or pait main balance nahin bach raha, jitna b recharge kro utna kharach ho rha hai |
| Phone na kia karo DEAR Mama hoti hain NEAR Papa se lagta hai FEAR Bat nahi hoti CLEAR Dewaro k b hote hain EAR Isliye SMS karo DEAR no FEAR n everything CLEAR |
| Medical shayri: When you breathe,you respire Wah wah! When you breathe, you respire; Wah wah,kya baat hai When you don't breathe,you Expire... |
| Emotional Comedy:Dil ko pata tha wo jarur ayegi,dil ko pata tha wo jarur ayegi..par kabi socha na tha k surprise me wo apna Husband 7 layegi |
| Think why u r so sweet,why u r so intelligent,why u r so lucky,why u r so blessed,why u r so beautiful..simple muzse fship ki hai to thoda faida to hoga hi. |
| How did an intelligent boy propose to girl ,he took the girl along wid him on a boat and at the middle of river said "Marry me or leave the boat" |
| If paper is vry tuf in an xam, just close ur eyes 4 a moment,take a deep breath n say "Dis is very intresting subject, I want 2 study once more" |
| Nazar mili usse jab wo akeli thi , dosti hui to wo meri saheli thi, pyar hua to wo ek paheli thi, Shadi hui to pata chala wo us area ki chameli thi. |
| Wats d diff btwn egyptian mummies & Indian mummies? A: Children r afraid of egyptian mummies & Fathers r afraid of Indian mummies. |
| Prayer of an ideal son: Dear God, thx 4 all d blesings u hv bestowed upon me. I wont ask anythin 4 myslf, plz jst giv my parents a really hot daughter-in-law |
| Question-What is the difference between vaade and yaadein? Answer- Vaade- "Hum todte hai." Yaadein- "Hamein todti hai." |
| U r d 1 whos so smart,U r d 1 whos so charming, U r the one whose so caring,U r the one whose so good looking. And, I'm the one who is spreading these rumors. |
| SITUATIONAL MESSAGE- ''Everyone wants to go to Heaven but no one wants to die..." "Boley to....... Sab ko top karna hai par padhna koi nahi chahta". |
| If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round….Ur heart is beating fast ,do u think its LOVE? na Munna na its called high B/P… |
| Husband sitting near to his wife n she was driving,Husband:please slow down the speed of car.Wife:No ;please. No; please NopleaseNopls..Husband:the Newspaper ill publish ur correct Age 55 in case of axident; Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh… |
| Despite the Old saying “Don’t Take Your Troubless & Worries To Bed” Most of the People still sleep with their wives!!! WHAT A CRAZY WORLD, Good Night. |
| wen i go wrong , need ur hand 2 correct, wen emotions bust out, need ur hand 2 catch, wen i win, need ur hand 2 pat. in short “YA HATH MUJHE DE DE THAKUR |
| when u feel lonely and alone and could not see any one around you………..; The word seems to be fading away.. ……come along with me..i will take u to an eye Specialist |
| Q: What kind of food does a race horse eat? A: Fast food |
| Definition of a Nurse A young and beautiful woman who fingers u in all places n holds ur hand and then expects ur pulse to be normal |
| Gud Morning… Kindly observe SILENCE for two minutes in the memory of those poor mosquitoes who died last night after sucking ur blood. Thanks |
| We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. “I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die.” |
| so Sweet is ur SMILE???so Sweet is ur STYLE???so Sweet is ur VOICE???so Sweet is ur EYE?????see…how Sweetly I LIE |
| The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut! |
| Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is liver & wife kidney. If liver fails, kidney fails. If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney. |
| Chinto aur Banto Zidd kar rahe the k Mokeyi dekhna hai, Mai ne Tumhare Ghar ka address bata dia hai Wo agar aayein to 2,3 JUMP maar dena Bache hain Khush ho jainge. |
| Have a horrible day without water in ur bathroom,while soap in ur eyes.Oh!sorry, dis msg is not 4 u.Its only 4 those who take bath everyday… |
| Never think of the past It brings tears... If you think of the future It brings fears... So, live life in the present And drink chilled beers! |
| A Fantastic ad in the paper "Come Via_Agra"... and see man's greatest erection for a woman.... . . "The Taj Mahal"...! |
| Hum honge fully pass hum honge fully pass Hum honge fully PASS EK DIN Ho....Ho Likhte hai BAKWAS per university pe hai VISHAWAS Vo karenge hum ko PASS ek din. |
| Padhai karo fail hone se mat daro, ladki chhedo SENDAL se mat daro,har ladki ko PRAPOS karo inkar se na daro,GITA me likha he karm karo PHAL ki chinta mat karo. |
| Upcoming Horror Movies, Produced by NSE & BSE_ BAZAAR BANA SHAITAN... TADAPTI SECURITIES... KHUNI BROKING HOUSE... INVESTOR KI MAUT |
| A BusinessMan ExpLaining The Reason For Having Two Wives....!@!--!@! MonoPoLy... Is ALways Damaging... & Competition... ImProves Service... |
| Next generation Child will sing in school: Twinkle twinkle little star, I just went to royal bar, Whisky rates are up so high, So drink beer with chicken fry. |
| Speaking Italian is hard, but I eat and drink it without difficulties! |
| I am a killer, I kill people for money. But because you are my friend, I'll kill you for nothing |
| Reality is an illusion that is born out of shortage of alcohol. |
| Stress is when you wake up and realises that you haven't slept yet. |
| I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which anser the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. |
| The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. |
| Its RAININ these days & m sure u must b vry happy. U mst b feelin lik go out, drench urself,sing songs, splash watr & hav fun. Rite? EvRy Frog feels d same!! |
| Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS; 1,Too Many Questions. 2,Difficult to Understand. 3,More Explanation is Needed. 4,Result is always FAIL!…. |
| In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry. |
| so sweet is ur SMILE..... so sweet is ur STYLE..... so sweet is ur VOICE..... so sweet is ur EYE....... see how sweetly I LIE!! |
| Have a horrible day without water in ur bathroom,while soap in ur eyes.Oh!sorry, dis msg is not 4 u.Its only 4 those who take bath everyday… |
| When words fails, Eyes works. When eyes fails, heart works. When heart fails... To kya? Samajh le Tapak gaya! |
| Hai tu agar mera dilbar, Hai tu agar mera dilbar, To aaj ke lunch ka bill tu bhar |
| Dil ka dard dil torrne waley kiya jaaney, Pyar ke rivajon ko zamana kiya jaaney, Hoti hai kitni takleef larrki ko pataney main, Ye ghar pe baitha larrki ka baap kiya jaaney |
| Some One Is Loving you; Caring for you; Watching over you; Protecting you Guess Who? Neighbour's Dog |
| A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did. |
| It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women..and then he turns them into Wives |
| To live a life one needs brain, reflex, perception, luck, IQ, knowledge, way of expression & many more mental qualities. Hats off to you boss you are doing without it!!!! |
| Door rehkar bhi dil ke paas lagte ho, nazron se door rehkar khaas lagte ho, har baar doosron ka bheja SMS bhejkar khud ko smart samajhte ho!!! |
| Old people used to annoy me at weddings, pinching my cheeks saying you are next. They stopped that when I started doing the same to them at Funerals!!! |
| The day you were born, God created BPL Believe in the Best, and the day I was born, God created Sansui Better than the Beat. |
| Shhhh. Dont go outside. Even dont talk loudly for the next one hour, please I am again warning you please and dont be so loud .. The dog catching van is on duty!!! |
| If ever in your life, youre very sad & lonely& feel that you have lost everything. Ill come, hold your hand, take you for a walk on a bridge .. & show you where to jump!!! |
| If ur world is spinning round & round... ur heart is beating fast....... Do u think its LOVE ? na munna ,its called...........?? high B.P........!!!! |
| I have started luving 'U'... I know it sounds rediculous but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS...! |
| If marriages r made in heaven, den wat r made in Hell? Ans : the days after marriage |
| Love is like programming; One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE |
| Khuda kare tujhe khushiyan hazaar mile, mujhse bhi achche yaar mile, meri galfriend tujhe raakhi baandhe aur tujhe ek aur behan ka pyar mile |
| Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke dwar pe likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVA Phir likha: SHUBH LABH Phir likhne lage: U R WELCOME Aur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHAN |
| Everyone says ''Behind Every successful Men There is a Woman''..But oly few of them knows d true fact is WOMEN GO ONLY BEHIND SUCCESSFUL MEN!! |
| A tactful wife is one who makes sure she spends so much that her husband cant afford another woman. . . |
| If ever in your life U R very sad & lonely & feel that U have lost every thing, I will come, Hold your hand, take U 4 Walk on a Bridge & Show U where 2 jump From !!!... |
| Jis tarha heere ko heera katta hai… Sone ko sona katta hai…Lohe ko loha katta hai.. Theek usi tarha dekh lena ek din.. Tumhe kutta katega… |
| There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.Her explanation - "If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels." |
| When things go wrong When sadness fills your heart When tears flow in your eyes Always remember 3 things 1) I am with you 2) You have money 3) Bar is open, Lets go. |
| TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR HOW I WONDER WHAT U ARE IF U KNOW WHAT U R THEN MENTAL HOSPITAL IS NOT SO FAR |
| 1 drunk asked the other:What a beautiful night,look at the moon.Other drunk: U are wrong,thats not the moon,that s the sun.Both started arguing for a while when they saw another drunk walking; they stopped him,Sir,pls help settle our argument?Tell us what is that up in the sky that s shining.Is it the moon or the sun?3rd man looked at the sky and said,Sorry, I dont live around here. |
| Patni=Suno ji, doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ke aaram ke liye kisi Hill station par jane ko kaha hai,hum kaha jayenge? Pati=Dusre Dr. ke Paas.. |
| Airoplane: Hi! brother. How can u fly very high speed than me? Rocket: mmm.. if da fire cought your back side, then u know how... |
| when the blue, I remember U, when the moon full, I remember U, when rains starts, I remember U. Can U tell me where my umbrella. |
| Tere gum me tarap ke mar jayenge,marte waqt bhi tere name le jayenge,god ko riswat de kar tumko vi uper bulayenge or dono milkar kurkure khayenge. |
| Love is like programming; One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE |
| Khuda kare tujhe khushiyan hazaar mile, mujhse bhi achche yaar mile, meri galfriend tujhe raakhi baandhe aur tujhe ek aur behan ka pyar mile |
| Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke dwar pe likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVA Phir likha: SHUBH LABH Phir likhne lage: U R WELCOME Aur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHAN |
| Everyone says ''Behind Every successful Men There is a Woman''..But oly few of them knows d true fact is WOMEN GO ONLY BEHIND SUCCESSFUL MEN!! |
| A tactful wife is one who makes sure she spends so much that her husband cant afford another woman. . . |
| If ever in your life U R very sad & lonely & feel that U have lost every thing, I will come, Hold your hand, take U 4 Walk on a Bridge & Show U where 2 jump From !!!... |
| Jis tarha heere ko heera katta hai… Sone ko sona katta hai…Lohe ko loha katta hai.. Theek usi tarha dekh lena ek din.. Tumhe kutta katega… |
| There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.Her explanation - "If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels." |
| When things go wrong When sadness fills your heart When tears flow in your eyes Always remember 3 things 1) I am with you 2) You have money 3) Bar is open, Lets go. |
| TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR HOW I WONDER WHAT U ARE IF U KNOW WHAT U R THEN MENTAL HOSPITAL IS NOT SO FAR |
| 1 drunk asked the other:What a beautiful night,look at the moon.Other drunk: U are wrong,thats not the moon,that s the sun.Both started arguing for a while when they saw another drunk walking; they stopped him,Sir,pls help settle our argument?Tell us what is that up in the sky that s shining.Is it the moon or the sun?3rd man looked at the sky and said,Sorry, I dont live around here. |
| Patni=Suno ji, doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ke aaram ke liye kisi Hill station par jane ko kaha hai,hum kaha jayenge? Pati=Dusre Dr. ke Paas.. |
| Airoplane: Hi! brother. How can u fly very high speed than me? Rocket: mmm.. if da fire cought your back side, then u know how... |
| when the blue, I remember U, when the moon full, I remember U, when rains starts, I remember U. Can U tell me where my umbrella. |
| Tere gum me tarap ke mar jayenge,marte waqt bhi tere name le jayenge,god ko riswat de kar tumko vi uper bulayenge or dono milkar kurkure khayenge. |
| Love is like programming; One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE |
| Khuda kare tujhe khushiyan hazaar mile, mujhse bhi achche yaar mile, meri galfriend tujhe raakhi baandhe aur tujhe ek aur behan ka pyar mile |
| Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke dwar pe likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVA Phir likha: SHUBH LABH Phir likhne lage: U R WELCOME Aur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHAN |
| Everyone says ''Behind Every successful Men There is a Woman''..But oly few of them knows d true fact is WOMEN GO ONLY BEHIND SUCCESSFUL MEN!! |
| A tactful wife is one who makes sure she spends so much that her husband cant afford another woman. . . |
| If ever in your life U R very sad & lonely & feel that U have lost every thing, I will come, Hold your hand, take U 4 Walk on a Bridge & Show U where 2 jump From !!!... |
| Jis tarha heere ko heera katta hai… Sone ko sona katta hai…Lohe ko loha katta hai.. Theek usi tarha dekh lena ek din.. Tumhe kutta katega… |
| There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.Her explanation - "If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels." |
| When things go wrong When sadness fills your heart When tears flow in your eyes Always remember 3 things 1) I am with you 2) You have money 3) Bar is open, Lets go. |
| TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR HOW I WONDER WHAT U ARE IF U KNOW WHAT U R THEN MENTAL HOSPITAL IS NOT SO FAR |
| 1 drunk asked the other:What a beautiful night,look at the moon.Other drunk: U are wrong,thats not the moon,that s the sun.Both started arguing for a while when they saw another drunk walking; they stopped him,Sir,pls help settle our argument?Tell us what is that up in the sky that s shining.Is it the moon or the sun?3rd man looked at the sky and said,Sorry, I dont live around here. |
| Patni=Suno ji, doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ke aaram ke liye kisi Hill station par jane ko kaha hai,hum kaha jayenge? Pati=Dusre Dr. ke Paas.. |
| Airoplane: Hi! brother. How can u fly very high speed than me? Rocket: mmm.. if da fire cought your back side, then u know how... |
| when the blue, I remember U, when the moon full, I remember U, when rains starts, I remember U. Can U tell me where my umbrella. |
| Tere gum me tarap ke mar jayenge,marte waqt bhi tere name le jayenge,god ko riswat de kar tumko vi uper bulayenge or dono milkar kurkure khayenge. |
| happy birthday to u!!! tum yahi soch rahe ho na, ki aaj tumhara birthday nahi hai, to maine wish kyon kiya? arre, message mera, phone mera, paise mere,... meri marji, yaar! |
| Sometime my mind asks why I miss you? Why I want to see you? Why I remember you? Then my heart answers its simply because............mental patient needs more care.....Ha!Ha!Ha!....... |
| Chaand Ko Guroor Hai Ki, Uske Pass Noor Hai To Kya Hua, Mujhe Bhi Guroor Hai , Ki Mera Doast Langoor Hai...Ha!Ha! Ha!!!!! |
| Some one.......miss u......needs u.......worry s about u....lonely without u....guess who....? monkey in the zoo...Ha Ha Ha |
Sometime my mind asks why I miss you? Why I want to see you? Why I remember you? Then my heart answers its simply because............mental patient needs more care.....Ha!Ha!Ha!....... |
| hi i want to talk with u can u call me now nothing special i need to hear u a voice because just test weather can i under stand monkey lang |
| MY eyes DETECTED! My heart REACTED!! Thousands were REJECTED! Only you were SELECTED!! Because ..... i need a money for an advertisement |
| Wife:Yester-night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes! Husband: Yeah, I saw ur dad paying the bill !!! |
| Defination of a NURSE-> A young and beautiful woman who fingers u in all places n holds ur hand and then expects ur pulse to be normal |
| CHINTU MINTU ZID KAR RAHE HAI KI MONKEY DEKHNA HAI, TUMHARE GHAR KA PATA DIYA HAI, 2-3 JUMP MAR KE DIKHA DENA, BACCHE KHUSH HO JAYENGE.... |
| He made a local call Sardar wanted to make a std. call to punjab, He wanted to save money so what did he do? Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call. |
| Luv and Kuch are going to a village & in between comes A well. Luv falls into the well. Why??? Because Luv (love) is blind !!!!! Now , Kuch also jumps inside. Why?? Because Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!! |
| I finally got my past, present and future tenses correct today. I loved you. I love you. I will love you forever! :). |
| sharab hai to mai-khane banee, husna hai to dewane banee, ap me bhe koi khaas baat hai tabhe to pagalkhane banee |
| Flirting is the only job in the world that a man cannot include in his biodata despite having years of experience and number of references |
| I Wrote your Name on the Sand, It got Washed Away.I Wrote your Name in Air,It got Blownaway. So I Wrote your Name in my Heart, Saala Heart Attack aa gaya |
| sharab hai to mai-khane banee husan hai to dewane banee ap me bhe koi khaas baat hai tabhe to pagal khane banee |
| Height Of Confusion: Whether To Laugh Or To Cry: Seeing Your Mother-in-law falling from 8th floor on ur new ferrari car. think abt it |
| I Wrote your Name on the Sand, It got Washed Away.I Wrote your Name in Air,It got Blownaway. So I Wrote your Name in my Heart, Saala Heart Attack aa gaya |
| sharab hai to mai-khane banee husan hai to dewane banee ap me bhe koi khaas baat hai tabhe to pagal khane banee |
| Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering |
| While walking down the street, I heard an old man say "I've been in love with the same woman for almost 50 years now." I was touched until I heard him say "I wish she knew." |
| F u were my baby I promise I won't hurt you. F u were finally mine, I promise id be loyal to you. But you're only my friend and I can't promise I won't fall for you. |
| Every time I hold her hand, I feel like holding my cheek. She always slaps me on the face. |
| When you are in love, you wish you were married. When you are married, you wish you were in love. |
| Man b4 marage: Roses r red, Violets r blue believe it or not im mad 4u. After marage Roses r dead,im blue u make me mad some day ill kill u. |
| Flirting is the only job in the world that a man cannot include in his biodata despite having years of experience and number of references.. |
| Emotional Comedy:Dil ko pata tha wo jarur ayegi,dil ko pata tha wo jarur ayegi..par kabi socha na tha k surprise me wo apna Husband 7 layegi |
| How can one reduce consumption of alchol? Before marriage drink only on days when u r sad, After marriage drink only on days when u r happy. |
| I Wrote your Name on the Sand, It got Washed Away.I Wrote your Name in Air,It got Blownaway. So I Wrote your Name in my Heart, Saala Heart Attack aa gaya. |
| Always keep a picture of your wife in your purse.Look at it when you are in trouble.You will feel that other problems are not as big as this one! |
| What men want? A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & a system to make sure that those women never meet each other. |
| God thought that since he couldn't be everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn't be everywhere he made a mother-in-law |
| The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once |
| We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die." |
| be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart.for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top |
| Ur smile can be compared with flowers, Ur voice can be compared with cuckoo, Ur innocence can be compared with a child, But in foolishness u have no comparisons. |
| Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk. |
| Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again. |
| 5 reasons why I like u. 1-u r never boring. 2-u know how 2 bring a smile on my face. 3-u r always on my side 4-u r perfect 5-u r always fooled by me. |
| An optimist is a guy who thinks his wife doesn’t understand him. |
| To live a life, one needs brains, reflex, perception, looks, IQ, knowledge, way of expressions and many more mental qualities... Hats off to u bcoz u manage 2 live without them !!! |
| Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems which, without them, we wouldn't have. |
| Winter comes again and again. Summer comes again and again, but a person like u never comes again and again because God never makes a mistake again and again. |
| Sun wouldn’t be red, Sea wouldn’t be blue, I wouldn’t be happy, Without disturbing u. |
| Not every flower can represent LOVE but the roses did. Not every tree can stand thirst but the cactus did. Not every monkey can read this message but U did. |
| Someone asked me about ur age. Well, I said: “The way u dress-19, ur skin-15, the way u speak-20, the way u walk-18. in total u look 72 years old. |
| PLEASE DON'T SEND ME CHEAP MESSAGES COS I AM FROM A RICH FAMILY. WE ARE IN THE IRON AND STEEL BUSINESS, MY BROTHER IRONS AND I STEAL |
| SOMETIMES U MAY CATCH ME STARING AT U - ITS NT BCUZ U R CUTE........ - MY MOM ONCE TOLD ME DAT DEVILS HAV HORNS N TAILS & - I M JUS WONDERING WHERZ URS! |
| I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears... |
| What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About Women |
| Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal. |
| First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering. |
| Red Rose: Luv Yelloe Rose: Friendship White Rose: Peace Which Rose for u? Nima Rose. Tan ki Durgandh Dur Kare, De Taazgi |
| It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam. Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS |
| Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them." |
| Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge. Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge. Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge. Ghanti bajayenge aur bhag jayenge. |
| Tum kya jaano gum kya cheez hai, Tum kya jaano gum kya cheez hai, Are Tum kya jaano gum kya cheez hai, Tumne to sari umar cellotape use ki hai |
| Socha tha har mode pet era intezaar karenge. Par kambakht sadak hi sidhi nikli. |
| Tumhaara intezaar karte karte, main so gaya Yeh dekho mera connection, time out ho gaya |
| Tumse mila main kal to, mere dil mein hua ek sound, Lekin aaj tum mili to kehti ho: Your file not found! |
| Ho gayi galti humse, click ho gaya mouse Duniya ki parwaah chhodo, ban jaao meri spouse |
| Company kee ladkiyaan sunder hain Aur lonely hain... Problem ye hai ki bus voh READ-ONLY hain... |
| A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST. A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE. A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND |
| Bhagwan se Scooter manga.. Car di; Ghar manga.. bangla diya; dost manga toh tumhey diya.. Bhagwan ne isbar aisa zulm kyoun kiya |
| I've written a poem for you: Twinkle twinkle little star, You should know what you are, And once you know what you are, Mental hospital is not so far |
| When u feel sad.... To cheer up just go to the mirror and say, "damn I am really so cute" u will overcome your sadness. But don't make this a habit..... Coz liars go to hell !!!! |
| Ur words r ANTIBIOTICS, Ur smile is ANALGESIC, Ur touch is ANTI-INFLAMATORY, Ur presence is ANTISEPTIC, Ur SMS is ANTI-PYRETIC... That's why I never fall ill :-) |
| I cannot hide this from u any more. I don't want 2 hurt u and I feel it's best if I tell u, before you hear it from someone else ............ Potato Prices Have Gone Up ! |
| 1 day u'll B srprisd 2 c ME beside U. U & ME laughing, U & ME crying, U & ME dreaming, U & ME holding on, U & ME... just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING U. |
| Manjil ki taraf badte chalo, jo dil kahe usi rah ko chuno... peechhe walo ko aage na jane do aur jo aage hai usse aage niklo, tabhi 1 acche driver banoge..... |
| Apple ka juice mango ka juice tarbujh ka juice badam ka juice khajur ka juice kaaju ka juice jo sms he naa kare woh KaN-JuiS.! |
| 1960s Girl: Pehla pehla pyar hai, chhai bahar hae, aja more sajna tera intzar hy. 2004 Girl: dusra/teesra pyar hai. dil bekrar hai, aja morey sajna varna chautha tayyar hai. |
| mat kiya karo dear, mom hoti hai near, papa se lagta hai fear, baat nahi hoti hai clear. Isliye sms karo dear, without fear n very clear. |
| L o n g t i m e a g o... o n l y idiots used... to read my S M S. And, t o d a y, the history continues.... |
| This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,20 cat, seconds cat !... Now read it without the word cat |
| A Couple- Before marriage Mad for each other, After marriage Made for each other, In future Mad because of each other.....!!! |
| Two birds sitting on a tree. A shikari came & shot 1 of them. The other fly away.....why? saala POLICE ke lafde me kaun padega ! |
| You know biggest irony of marriage is that, Woman expects man to change & they don't & Man expects woman not to change & they do! |
| Khidki se dekha to raastey pe koi nahin tha, Khidki se dekha to raastey pe koi nahin tha, Raaste pe jaake dekha to khidki pe koi nahi tha. |
| Ladki ek aisi paheli hai, kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli hai. Kharcha karo to bole "darling, how are you?". Na karo to bole "brother, who are you?". |
| Tum haste raho, nachte raho, muskurate raho, sada khil khilate raho, khush raho aur gungunate raho, mera kya hai, log tumhe hi pagal samzhenge.... |
| Medical Shayari When you breathe, you respire! Wah Wah! When you breathe, you respire! Wah Wah! When you don't breathe, you expire! Wah Wah, kya baat hai! |
| Dark were those days, without your sight. When I was in darkness, you gave me light. You gave me strength 2 make life bright. Thank you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT ! |
| I cannot hide this from u any more. I don't want 2 hurt u and I feel it's best if I tell u, before you hear it from someone else ............ Potato Prices Have Gone Up ! |
| 1 day u'll B srprisd 2C ME beside U. U & ME laughing, U & ME crying, U & ME dreaming, U & ME holding on, U & ME... just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING U. |
| Good looks catch the eyes but Good Personality catches the heart, You are blessed with both!. FLATTERED?. Don't Be, it was sent to me, I just wanted you to read it. |
| Once god came up 2 me & granted me a wish. I asked 4 "world peace". That's impossible, he said. Then I asked him 2 give u brains. He said "Let me try world peace" |
| Can u pronounce good english:- read along woof, roof, loof, shoof, shoof, woof, loof, roof, poof, woof woof, hoof, woof, roof, shoof. Test results: U r a good dog. Now stop barking. |
| Beta bola "papa papa mujhe bandar dekhna hai". Papa bole, "Nahi bete, abhi nahi". "Papa kyon ?" .......... "Bete abhi bandar SMS padh raha hai" |
| Like energy, love can neither be created nor destroyed. It can just be transferred from one girlfriend to another girlfriend |
| If i had gone 4 brain transplantation i have chosen ur brain b'coz i want 2 use the brain that is never used b4 |
| Why do U think I SMS u ? Is it because I care ? Or I miss u ? Or I love u ? Or I need You ? No ! It's b'coz... Timepass ke liye koi BAKRA chaiye ! |
| There are 8 ways to describe you... nice, friendly, so cute, loving, very sweet, funny, charming , thoughtful. In short, you're just like.... me ! |
| If U sneeze once, Think I'm remembering you. If you sneeze twice, Think I want to Meet U. If U sneeze thrice, Think I'm Missing You. 4th Time, Fool Take A Tablet ! |
| EYES : To look at you HAND : To pray for you Mind : To remember you Heart : To love you AND AND AND AND AND LEGS : To kick YOU.. If you forget me... !! GOT IT!!! |
| Don't marry AIRTEL girl, she will do magic on u. Don't marry BSNL girl, she has connections with all Indians. Don't marry IDEA girl, she touches u tomorrow, not today. Don't marry RELIANCE girl, she takes u in her mutthi mein. Marry only HUTCH girl, she follows u where ever u go |
| I mixed RUM in water and got drunk. I mixed BRANDY in water and got drunk. I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again. Now I have decided never to drink water again !!! |
| See the sky youll see Gods face, see the rain you will dance once again, see the moon you will see the depth of lake. Now see the mirror and youll see the God cutest mistake. |
| Bachelors schedule Monday ko dosti, Tuesday ko pyaar, Wednesday ko shaadi, Thursday ko barbaadi, Friday ko fighting, Saturday ko talaaq, Sunday ko rest, Monday ko next!!! |
| Heartbeats are countless, spirits are ageless, dreams are endless, memories are timeless A friend like YOU shameless. Oops . Sorry priceless!! |
| Dost mere marne ke baad aansu na bahaana Jab yaah aaye meri, to seedhe upar hi chale aana. |
| Taj Mahal kya cheez hai, isse badi imaarat banaunga. Mumtaz to marke dafan hui thee, tujhe to main zinda dafnaunga!!! |
| Unlike others, your brain is a masterpiece. It is divided in 2 parts left & right. In the left nothing is right and in the right nothing is left. |
| If ever in your life, youre very sad & lonely& feel that you have lost everything. Ill come, hold your hand, take you for a walk on a bridge .. & show you where to jump!!! |
| AYZAZYPZYKYZA TYZIZYMZYE BYZAZYRZYBZYAZYAZYD KZYAZYRZY NZYA TZYHZYA KYZAYZR DZYIYYA. ONLY Y AND Z KO ERASE KARO AUR PADHO. ITS INTERESTING.THANK U. |
| AYZAZYPZYKYZA TYZIZYMZYE BYZAZYRZYBZYAZYAZYD KZYAZYRZY NZYA TZYHZYA KYZAYZR DZYIYYA. ONLY Y AND Z KO ERASE KARO AUR PADHO. ITS INTERESTING.THANK U. |
A Noble Award winner dedicated his Novel to his wife and wrote Its dedicated to my Wife because in her absence I could complete this Book... |
| Bazu-o-mein dum rakhta hun, Dil mein gum rakhta hun, Pata tha SMS ayega tera, Isliye DISPRIN sang rakhta hun |
| aap hamari galli mein aaye thore sharmaye thore ghabraye thore sa myskaraye phir zoor se chillaye Aalu cholay masalay walay. |
| dil bechen he aaj kal mera jab se jiyada aane laga he mobile ka bill mera |
| SMS ka sangrah karke kya paayega vats...? Balance ka moh tyag aur sms kar... Mitron se sampark banaye rakhne se hi moksha ki prapti hogi... Swami Messageanand. |
| Duniya mein bewafai aam baat hai,Ab Sooraj ko hi dekh lo niklta Roshni ke saath hai,Rehta Kiran ke saath hai,Aur jaata Sandhya ke saath hai.... |
| When hand stop.. lips work.. when lips stop...eyes work.. When eyes stop,heart works... when heart stop... abe MAAMU TU TAPAK GAYA HAI |
| Scientists are trying to figure out how long a person can live without brain. Please tell them your age! |
| Promise me v r true frindz, i’m lamp ur lite, i’m coke ur sprite, i’m saawan u r baadal, i’m normal ur pagal. ha ha ha |
| God made a daylight n is called “SUN”, God made a entertatemaint n is called “FUN”, God made a nightlight n is called “MOON”, God made a U n is called “CARTOON”, |
| Kayamat ke din farishtene sabse kaha,"es papar per apane-apane gunah likho."achanak tumari aavaj aayi"Sir,sapliment please. |
| woh bhi kya din the jab log aapko kiss kiya karte the par apki phooti kismat tab aap hugies main hua karte the |
| Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath dekha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath thaMoral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey |
| Chandni chawk ka fawara na hota.India gate ka nazara na hota.Fashion ne agar ladkiyon ko bigada na hota.To india ka koi ladka awara na hot. |
| i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again |
| Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!! |
| Hi i am dying to c u, i want to talk to u seriously, but I cant get 2 u, dis stupid gatekeeper is asking me 4 a ticket to enter the zoo! |
| I've been arrested for bein the ugliest person in usa, can u cum down the police station and show them it's a mistake? |
| It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet! |
| You love someone... u marry someone else. The one you marry becomes your wife or husband & the one you loved becomes the password of your emai id...! |
| Forest king Virappan died last week. In his memory let us all switch off our mobiles for 2 mins. Plz forward this to all local criminals, as I did. |
| Lost in a zoo I saw many animals.. Mouse BIRD Monkey ...! U 2 |
| It's the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It's called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind. |
| What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife? Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately. |
| A baby fish asked her mother: Y can't we live on earth? Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it's made for selfish |
| Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you've always been a headache! |
| Hey, I just got your blood test report. U have been tested HIV positive. Report reads person has high percentage of Honey In Veins. No Wonder! |
| Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that. |
| Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence. |
| An engineering student to his sweeper brother: I have got degree, I have got knowledge, I can sit in society. What do you have? Sweeper: I have the job. |
| Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains. Rest have Girlfriends |
| A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER- Dear Marie, Today is Good Day, U r Anmol for me... But U have Crackjacked my Heart, Bcoz I have a Little Heart, Now I m in 50/50 position... |
| Monday went on Tuesday 2 Wednesday and asked Thursday whether Friday has told Saturday that Sunday is a holiday. Have a Great Sunday... |
| Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls? Both don't exist. |
| Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth |
| ek din Tarzan Jangal me ja raha tha usne maraa huaa cheeta dekha or bola oh my God MY New under wear |
| Vo kaun hai? * Jo ISHQ me hai? * Jo MANN me hai? * Jo DIL me hai? * magar DHADKAN me nahi? Jyada soch mat STUPID Vo hai AMIR KHAN |
| Wife- i will die. Husband- i will also die. Wife- Why do you want 2 die? husband- bcoz ma itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta:! ** |
| Kabristhan ke cahaukidar ke kabar pe baite hue kutte ki gale ke pat mein chupe hue virus ki sar ke baal ke andar ki bacteria ki kasam tusse!!! Great !!! ho!!! |
| i love U ilove U ilove U i love U ilove U hey don get xcited i love other alphabets too i.e V W X Y Z hahahaha |
| Have u ever seen a monkey wrapped in a polythene. NO THEN SEE YOUR IDTENTIYCARD. |
| Kitne din ho gaye kitne hafte gujar gaye baat mahino tak bhi chali gayi ab saal bhi ho jaega ab to kehna mano chalo aise na karo jaldi se NAHA LO |
| I LIKE U.. I REALLY LIKE U... I LIKE U VERY MUCH..., I REALLY LIKE U..., KYONKI GEETA MEIN LIKHA HAI..., PAAP SE NAFRAT KARO PAAPI SE NAHI |
| Good looks catch the eyes, but Good Personality catches the heart. You are blessed with both! FLATTERED??? Dont Be!!! It was sent to ME, and I just wanted you to read it... |
| Darde dil me gam ki kaliya khilti hai, aab to tanhai aaksar hamse milti hai, aapne band kiya jabse SMS karna, MOBILE ki battery jyada chalti hai! |
| Great people talk about ideas, Average people talk about things, Small people talk about other people, And Legends never talk, they send SMS... |
Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ? Mind u - its really very very urgent, damn serious and very imp .... Im playing cards and weve misplaced the JOKER. |
| zindagi behal hai ,sur hai na tal hai,msg box bhi kangal hai,kya apke sms factory me hadtal hai, yar kuch bhi bhejo, ye mere mobile ki zindagi ka sawal hai... |
| so,sweet ur smile. so,sweet ur style. so sweet ur voice. u c how sweetly i lie. |
| Pehle Dedar... Phir Yaar... Phir Ikraar... Phir Pyaar... Phir Intezar... Phir Takrar... Uske baad Sari Mehnat Bekar... At Last aur Ek Devdas in the Beear Bar. |
| Kya Lekar aaya tha. Kya Lekar Jayega. Kya Lekar aaya tha. Kya Lekar Jayega. Mujhe SMS Na Karke Zalim tu Kitne Paise BaChAyEgA. |
| For Heart Beat U Need Heart Fr Heart U Need Happiness Fr Happiness U Need Friendship Fr Friendship U Need Me |
| If I was an artist, you would be my picture! If I was a poet, you would be my inspiration! If I was an author you would be my story! But Im only a cartoonist! |
| When u read my sms,SWEETER when u read and smile,but u look sweetest when u read ,smile and reply,so try to look sweetest |
| subah ko yaad aayi to miss kiya,dopar ko yaad aayi to bahut miss kiya,shaam ko yaad aayi to heart ne skip kiya ,aur jab jaan pe ban aayi to sms kiya. |
| Dreams make all things possible, Hope makes all things work, Love makes all things beautiful, Smile makes all the above things possible.... So, BRUSH UR TEETH EVERYDAY |
| ************** Kash mere dardo ki tujhe aise saja mile, Kash mere dardo ki tujhe aesi saja mile, Tuje aayi ho bade jor se SUSU, Aur kahi karne ki jaga na mile. ************** |
| ************** Kya bindas hava chal raheli hai, birdy gana ga rahele hain, Cow log grass eat rahele hain, shane log SMS kar rahele hain aur dhakkan log SMS padh rahele hain... ************** |
| ************** I like watching you, I like to spend my time with you But you are always surrounded by others As you are the main attaraction of the ZOO!!! ************** |
| ************** Aapki yaad mein meine kalam uthai, Liya kakaz aur tasveer aapki banai. Socha tha dil se laga ke rakhen us tasveer ko, par vo toh bachcho ko daranye ke kaam aayi. ************** |
************** Give one english word for...... apne kiye pe pani pher dena ..............? ..........? ......? I I_____FLUSH -() - )____( ************* |
| Kripya Dhyan de....... Dhayan dene ke liye Dhanyavad ha ha ha............ |
| Paani Aane Ki Baat Karte Ho, Dil Jalane Ki Baat Karte Ho. 4 Din Se Muhe Nahi Doya, Tum Nahane Ki Baat Karte Ho. |
| karo shri ganpati bapa ke darshan papiyon ko nahin dikhte! |
| Mandir mein jaap karta hoon, Masjid mein adaab karta hoon, Insaan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun isliye roz tujhko SMS karke paap karta hoon. |
| Ansu aap ka Niklaa aur Aankhen maree hoo, Dil aap ka Dharkay aur Dharken maree hoo, Khuda kare Hamra Payar Itnaa Gharaa hoo, JOB aap karaa aur INCOME maree hoo. |
| Conducting a Blood Test On U....Testing In Progress...Testing...Testing...Result.......... ........< Honey In Veins > No wonder U R So Sweeeeeettttttttt.....!!!!! |
| Life is difficult,full of trials,sorrow,pain,but if u fall down,just stand up straight be confident & say .....+*+**DHAKKA KISNE MARA BE**+*+..... |
| U r ACENT of my life, ALTO of my dreams, IKON of my eyes ,Zen of my thoughts, INDICA of my joy, LANCER of my heart…In simple ,u r the traffic jam of my heart… |
| % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % Kya Dekh rahe ho Machhar hai mar do... |
| Phoolon mein hasin Gulab hai.Husan ke saath zaruri Sharaab hai,Duniya mein har sawal ka jawab hai...Agar koi tumse mere pooche to kehna woh Lajwab hai... |
| Jiwant asal tar SMS pathwa. Dhagat gela asal tar PUAS pathwa. Swargat asal tar APSARA Pathwa. Aani jar Markat asal tar tumcha HANDSET pathwa. |
When we had met, God gave me an option between a good friend & a good memory. I dont remember what i chose..... |
| Hazarou phoolo mai, hamai ek phool bahuth kuhb laga es phool ku pane ke leya, hum ne dosti ka sath liya dosto nai kaha, es phool ko panae ke liye, kato sai guzar na hoga hum nai kab kaha ke hum kata sai dhaar tai agar kata se dhaar thai tu hum gulab ke phool ku na dhektha hum tu phir chamali ke aur dekhtai ... |
A TOWN PLANNER ASKED A TOWN DESIGNER,IN YOUR OPENION WHATS THE PROBLEM IN DESIGNING OF A WOMAN TOWN DESIGNER: WELL, NOTHING MUCH, EXCEPT THAT ENTERTAINMENT AREA IS TOO CLOSE TO SEWERAGE AREA |
| humne tumko dekha tumne humko dekha aise bandar bandariya ak doosre ko dekhte ho jaise |
| Ghunghat nein tujhe dekha to deewana hua.Sangeet ka tarana hua,Shamaa ka parwana hua,Masti ka Mastana hua,Jaise hi ghunghat uthaya is duniya se ravaana hua... |
Vo kaun hai? * Jo ISHQ me hai? * Jo MANN me hai? * Jo DIL me hai? * magar DHADKAN me nahi? Jyada soch mat STUPID Vo hai AMIR KHAN |
| Purani Kahwat He K Sone K Time Tension Ko Sath LeKr Nhi Sona Chahye Lekin Phir Bi Log Pta Nhi Kyon Apni Biwi Ko Apne Sath Le Kr Sote He? |
| If ur world is spinning ROUND and ROUND And ur HEART is beating VERY FAST.!!!!Do u think it is LOVE???Na munna NaIT IS HIGH BP |
| Suna Hai aap ki muskrahat pe LOG marte hain…..Mujhe b 1 banda marwana hai zara time nikaal k aana or us k saamne muskrana. |
| Kisses blown r kisses wasted.kisses rnt kisses unless they r tasted.kisses spread germs and germs r hated.but u can kiss me baby im vaccinated |
| What is peak of poverty?When katrina kaif is ready to kiss u for only 2 rupees..&. . .U have only 1 rupee!! |
| Life without u is impossible, u r in my breath and blood. i cant stay for a second without u, if u r not there i am dead. oye hello i am talking about OXYGEN |
| Yeh India ka cricket hein Bidu, Wicket mile tho 'THALI" bidu, bowler pite tho 'GAALI" bidu, Lapkega catch tho bole "JHAKKAS", tapkega catch tho 'SATHYANASH" FUNKY FUNKY FUNKY... CHAL HAT.. Jeethe tho "SAATH" hein, haare tho ?? "WATTT" hein!! |
| Be careful when a gal tells u that she loves u from the bottom of her heart. For this may mean that there is still enough space for another boy on top! |
| Whats the difference between Data and Information? 362436 - Data 36-24-36 Information! .. |
| Tip to reduce consumption of alcohol : Before marriage drink only on the days when u r sad, After marriage drink only on days when u r HAPPY..!! |
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