Husband aur Wife Hotel
me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha,”Koun Thi Wo?”
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.
|
Husband: Today is sunday &
I have to enjoy it.
So i bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why three?
Husband: 1 For U and 2 for ur parents. |
LOVE IS LIFE
LIFE IS WIFE
WIFE IS KNIFE
and
KNIFE IS DANGEROUS |
patni maike ja kar pati ko roz phon q karti hai.
.
.
.
.
.
.
taki pati ko yad rahe ki musibat abhi tali nahi hai |
Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:
Am I Too Late For The Garbage?
Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.
Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt. |
Difference between Husband & gadha.
Ans:Husband gadha ban sakta hai,
but
Gadha itna bhi gadha nahi k husband bane!! |
A recently fired stock trader said …
“This is worse than divorce…
I have lost everything
and
I still have my wife…” |
What’s the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,
that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi. |
Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.
Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.
Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second |
Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked”Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?”
Wife:”Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!”
Husband:”Bakri se hi poch raha hon” |
Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Postmaster:bhai ye post office hai,
police station me complain dijiyee.
Man:Kia karon, khushi k mare
kuch samajh nahin aa raha |
How woman calls their husband in first 6 years
Yr 1.Janu
Yr 2.O G.
Yr 3.Sunte ho?
Yr 1.O bunty k pappa
Yr 1.Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 1.Tum aate ho k main aaon?
|
Last night was my fault,
my wife asked,
“what’s on the TV?”
and ….. I said, “dust!” |
My wife and I
were happy for 20 years.
Than we met. |
Friends Are like Priya Gold Biscuit Haq Se maango
Girl Friends are like Pepsi Yeh Dil Maange More
Wife is like a medicine Bas Ek hi kaafi hai |
Wife: If I die what will u do?
Husband: Main paagal ho jaun ga!
Wife: Will u marry again after I die?
Husband: Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai |
What is the difference between wife & saali?
Saali is Beauty,
Wife is duy,
Saali is passion,
Wife is tension,
Saali is patakha,
Wife is sayapa,
Saali is cool,
Wife is fool,
Saali is tuty-fruity,
Wife is qismat futi,
Saali is fresh cake,
Wife is earth quake…:p |
Wife:-I will die.
Husband:- I will also die.
Wife:-why will you die?
Husband:-because main itni khushi
bardasht nahin ker sakta:D |
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no. |
What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying…
&
the other ensures U Continue to do so. |
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?”
Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: “What were you before you married her?”
Millionaire: “A Billionaire” |
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem Can there be greater than this one? |
wife: honey, what r u looking 4?
husband: nothing
wife: why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ?
husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date
|
Wife: Apka dost galat Ladki se shadi kar raha hai, aap use rokte kyu nahi?
Husband: Main Kyu Roku? Usne Mujhay Roka Tha kya… |
Husband: Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Faayada Hua.
Wife: kaun Sa Faayada?
Husband: Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee Hi Mil Gai |
First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.” ..:D |
A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds “Wife Wanted”.
The next day, he received hundreds of replies,
all reading: “You can have mine.” |
The Best & most easy and Effective way to remember ur wife’s birthday
is
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.
.
.
2 forget it once. |
Q. Doctor: App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai.
A .Man: Hoga, zarur hoga; 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai. |
Q. What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE?
A. Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai… Doosri bigadti hai to ‘SHUROO’ ho jati hai |
Me and My Wife was Very Happy before….
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.
.
.
We Met…! haha
|
Q. Ek admi ne sadhu se kaha, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upaay bataiye.
A. Sadhu bola , saale, Upaay hota to main sadhu kyoon banta? |
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our
upcoming anniversary. She said, ‘I want something shiny
that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds!’ I gifted her
a weighing scale. |
I asked my wife,
“Where do you want to go for our anniversary?
“It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”
She said. So I suggested,
“How about the kitchen?” |
Thappad Marney par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:
“Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.”
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur Boli:
“Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti” |
Wife: Tum Mujh Sey Kitna Pyaar Karte Ho?”
Husband: Shahjahan Jitna.”
Wife: Mere Marne Ke Baad TAJ MAHAL Banao Gay?”
Husband: Main Ney Tou Plot Bhi Le Liya Hai,
DELAY Tou Tum Kar Rahi Ho!!!” |
Wife: Darling Tumhe Pata Hai
Jannat Mein Husband Aur Wife
Ko Ek Saath Nahi Rehne Dete
Husband: Isi Liye To Usey Jannat
Kehte Hain ..:p |
Wife: Me America ja rahi hoon apke liye kya lau
Husband: Aik American Ladki
Wife Wapas Aye
Husband: mera gift!
Wife: 9 mahine intizaar karo |
Tufani Barish May Raat Ko Shop per 1 Admi Pizza Lenay Aaya
Shopkeeper: Aap Shadi Shuda Hai
Admi: Is Tufani Barish May Kya Meri Maa Mujay Pizza Lene Bhejegi? |
Wife: What will u give me if i climb the great Mount Everest?
Husband: Le, isme pucchne wali kya baat hai…
DHAKKAA!!! |
Wife: Mein tumhari jindagi ki kitab hoon.
Husband: Yahi to afsos hai.
Calendar hoti to har saal change to kar leta! |
Son - Papa kya aap kabhi Egypt gaye ho?
Papa - nahi. Par kyu?
Son - to fir aap itni Khofnaak mummy kaha se laye |
Wife: Kaash Aap SMS hotay to Main Ap ko Zindagi bhar ke liye SAVE kar Laiti
HUSBAND: Kaash Tum Ring Tone hoti to Main har Roz bajata or her Haftay badalta |
5' 6? jiski height ho,
Jeans jiski tight ho,
Chehara jiska bright ho,
Umar 20 se 22 ho,
Aise apni Wife ho.
|
Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means…
Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
WIFE says: No darling , it means :-
With Idiot For Ever |
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in ur hands allday.
Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday. |
Husband to a newly wed wife!
I could go to the end of the world for you
Wife:Thanks,but promise me
you will stay there for the rest of your life. |
Husband wife mein larai hoi,
Husband ghar se chala gaya,
Husb:Rat ko phone pay,”Khanay mein kia hai”
Wife:Zeher.
Husb:Mai dair se aonga, tum kha kar so jana:D |
Biwi(Ghusse Main):
Tumhare Dimagh Main To
Sirf Gobar Hi Bhara Hai..!!
Husband (Pyar Se):
To Phr Itni Dyer Se Kha Q Rahi Ho….?? |
When a man steals your wife
there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. |
Wife: Suno g doctor ne mujhe aik
maheenay k araam k liye beautiful
foreign country janay ko kaha hai.
Hum kahan jayen gaay?
Husband: doosray doctor ka passs.. |
Husband came home frm office, Saw hiz Wife wid hiz Friend in Bed. He shootz hiz Friend.
Wife sayz.If u behave like dis, one day u will lose all of your friendz |
Husband(Drunk) - tum kon hoo?
Wife - pagal hogay kiya apni Biwi koo bhol gaye
HUSBAND - nasha her gham bhola deta hai |
Husband: Darling, 10 years ago you had a figure like Coke bottle.
Wife: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is, it was 250ml before but now it's 1.5 litter. |
Do u know the meaning of WIFE?
It means...Without Information Fighting Evrytime! |
Wife: kal teen chor ny gher main ghuss ker mera rape kar diyaa
Husband: tumnay roka nahi?
Wife: bohat roka per unhone kaha k ab bahut der ho gaya hai, ab jane do! |
Q. What’s the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE?
A. In both cases you feel ‘aur thoda ruk jata to accha model milta’ |
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