Sunday, May 23, 2010

asardar sms jokes

dosto aapko kuch pal sab kuch bhulaker hasane ke liye hi hamne in hasate hue bikhare panno ko samet ker aapko hasaane(khush) ki koshish ki hai..........

Q:Why is a Sardarji standing below
a tube light with a open mouth?

A:Because his doctor advised him
“Today’s dinner should be light”

posted in Sardar SMS

Practical exam, and legs test

In a practical Exam
Examiner showed legs of bird n said:Tell the bird’s name
Sardar:I dont know
Exminer: U r failed.Wats ur name?
Sardar: You see my legs, and tell me.

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house

A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house…
still he was in jail…….why?
coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Sardar filed an application 4 divorce

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for divorce.

Judge asked :
How will you divide, you have 3 children?

Sardar replied :
Ok! We will apply next year.

posted in Sardar SMS

A sardar went to Pizza Hut

A sardar went to Pizza Hut.
There he ordered a Pizza.

The Waiter asked him:
Sir shell I cut it into 4 pieces or 8 pieces.

Sardar replied:
O 4 hi le aa yaar,
8 to nahin khaye jayein gay

posted in Sardar SMS

Scientific formula of water by sardar

Teacher: what is the scientific formula for water?
Sardar: h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.

Teacher: nonsense! how did you derive that?
Sardar: auntie, it is H to O (h2o)!

posted in Sardar SMS

Sardar got job in a telenor call centre

Sardar got job in a telenor call centre.
Customer: telelenor sim blocked what to do?
Sardar: dont take tension remove telenor &
put warid sim.
Thank you for calling ufone.

A Sardar looking at sky asks another Sardar :
Is that a sun or moon?

Other Sardar replies :
Oye ! No idea…Im new to this city..

posted in Sardar SMS

What is a adult joke?

Sardarji was asked,
what is a adult joke?

Reply came
any joke which is eighteen years old.

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Y 18 sardars go 2 a movie

Question: Why did 18 Sardars
go to a movie?

Answer: Because below 18
was not allowed.

posted in Sardar SMS

Kept the door open while bathing

Do U know why a sardar ji kept
the door open while taking a bath?

Because he was scared that someone
might see through the “KEY HOLE”.

posted in Sardar SMS

2 Sardars lookin at an Egyptian mummy

2 Sardars lookin at an Egyptian mummy.

Sardar1:Look so many bandages,
pakka truck accident case hai.

Sardar2: Aaho,
truck number bhi likha hay, BC-1760

posted in Sardar SMS

Sardar’s Leave application

Sardar’s Leave application

Dear Sir,
My wife is ill.
As there is no other Husband
in the family to look after her,
Kindly grant me leave for one day.

posted in Sardar SMS

Latest version of java

Interviewer asked sardarji:
Which are the 2 latest versions of java?

Sardarji: Marjava & Mitjava

posted in Sardar SMS

Number dial karnay se pehley do lagain

A sardarji went to a
STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and
slapped the operator twice.

:-( Guess why ?

bcoz there it was written
“Number dial karnay se pehley do lagain”

A Sardar looking at sky asks another Sardar :
Is that a sun or moon?

Other Sardar replies :
Oye ! No idea…Im new to this city..

posted in Sardar SMS

What is a adult joke?

Sardarji was asked,
what is a adult joke?

Reply came
any joke which is eighteen years old.

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Y 18 sardars go 2 a movie

Question: Why did 18 Sardars
go to a movie?

Answer: Because below 18
was not allowed.

posted in Sardar SMS

Kept the door open while bathing

Do U know why a sardar ji kept
the door open while taking a bath?

Because he was scared that someone
might see through the “KEY HOLE”.

posted in Sardar SMS

2 Sardars lookin at an Egyptian mummy

2 Sardars lookin at an Egyptian mummy.

Sardar1:Look so many bandages,
pakka truck accident case hai.

Sardar2: Aaho,
truck number bhi likha hay, BC-1760

posted in Sardar SMS

Sardar’s Leave application

Sardar’s Leave application

Dear Sir,
My wife is ill.
As there is no other Husband
in the family to look after her,
Kindly grant me leave for one day.

posted in Sardar SMS

Latest version of java

Interviewer asked sardarji:
Which are the 2 latest versions of java?

Sardarji: Marjava & Mitjava

posted in Sardar SMS

Number dial karnay se pehley do lagain

A sardarji went to a
STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and
slapped the operator twice.

:-( Guess why ?

bcoz there it was written
“Number dial karnay se pehley do lagain”

How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from
the book when the teacher erases the board.

posted in Sardar SMS

This horrible thing is what you call modern art

Sardar at an Art Gallery:
I suppose this horrible looking thing is
what you call modern art ?

Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

posted in Sardar SMS

I wanna die like my grandpa

Sardar’s wish : when i die,
I wanna die like my grandpa
who died peacefully in his sleep
not screaming
like all the passengers in the
car he was driving..

posted in Sardar SMS

Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.

Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket.
Dealer gave 11cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar:
“Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.”

posted in Sardar SMS

Nurse, Sardar and blood test

NURSE kept SARDAR’S FINGER in HER MOUTH
after BLOOD TEST.
THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .
NURSE:y r u DANCING.
SARDAR:next is URINE TEST

posted in Adult SMS, Sardar SMS

Go and water the plants

Sardar told his servant:
Go and water the plants. Servant
it’s already raining. Sardar: So what?
Take an umbrella and go.

posted in Sardar SMS

Sardar : u will go to jail..

Teacher: “I killed a person”
convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is “u will go to jail”.

posted in Sardar SMS

Collection of sardar sms jokes suitable for sms / text message. We hope you will enjoy our latest funny sardar jokes :)by avinash

Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife.
Two seconds later a report came
to his phone and he started dancing.
The report said, “DELIVERED”.

posted in Sardar SMS

Sardar proposed a girl……

Sardar proposed a girl……
Girl said am 1 yr elder to u…….
Sardar said Oye no problem
soniye I’ll marry u next year.

posted in Sardar SMS

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Don’t worry, I have a one more.

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him

On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him,
“Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring?”
Sardar : “Ya sure, from landline or mobile”.

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Lady wanted 2 go 2 toilet

In a party a lady wanted
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,

sardarji replied u naughty
pehle tum dikhao.

posted in Adult SMS, Sardar SMS

You will die within 2 hours

Doctor to sardar : You will die within 2 hours.
Do you want to see any one before you die?
Sardar : Yes. A good doctor.

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Sardar was busy removing a wheel

Sardar was busy removing
a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar why are
you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board.
Parking is only for 2 wheeler

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Sardar on phone:

Sardar on phone:

Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.

Doctor: Is this her first child?

Sardar: No this is her husband speaking…

ardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked “what you did till evening?”
Sardar :”Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright”

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Interviewee; What is your date of birth?

Interviewee;What is your date of birth?
Sardar;nov 28.
Interviewer;which year?
Sardar;abey ullu everyyear.

posted in Sardar SMS

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April
when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/-
and took the ticket and said april fool.
I have pass.

posted in April Fools SMS, Sardar SMS

A sardarji photographer is focusing

A sardarji photographer is focusing
a dead body’s face in a funeral function,
suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him.
why? He said “SMILE PLEASE”

posted in Sardar SMS

A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl

A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: “STUPID what r u doing?”
Sardar: B.Com final year”

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

ATM Jammed because of …

Breaking News
ATM @ Gulshan-e-Iqbal Is Jammed &
Not In Working Condition
.
.
.
Because
.
.
.
Sardar’s Wife Put Hair pin In Machine
When It Said”, Enter Ur PIN” ;)

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

posted in Adult SMS, Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

I want my child to laugh

Police:Instead of hospital why did u take ur wife to COMEDY MOVIE during pregnancy
Sardar: ALL the child were crying when they born
I want my child to laugh so i take my wife TO CINEMA

In battle Sardar was wearing mosquito net
instead of bullet proof jacket
why?
?
?
?
Saradar replied
O jis wich machar nai war sakda
goli kithon lange gi

posted in Sardar SMS

Sardar Bunks office

Sardar Bunks office n goes to home.
He saw his wife with his boss.
He comes back running office and says,
‘baap re, boss ne dekh liya hota to maar daalta.

posted in Sardar SMS

Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai.
Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Differentiate wife and mother

Teacher: How Do You Differentiate
“WIFE” & “MOTHER”

SARDAR:
Before Marriage We Sleep With “MOTHER”
&
After Marriage
We Sleep With Our “WIFE”

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Sardar shopping early

Judge: why r u arrested?
Sardar: for shopping early?
Judge: well, that’s not a crime,
anyway how early were u shopping?

Sardar: before opening the shop…..:p

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

An essay on cricket match

Teacher told all students
in a class to write an essay
on a cricket match.

All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote No match, due to rain!!!

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Chemical symbols & sardar

Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium?
Sardar: BA

Professor:For sodium?
Sardar: NA

Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA
& 2 atoms of NA combined?
Sardar: BANANA

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

No word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary

Hitler says,
“There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary”
Sardar says:Ab bolne se kiya fayidah?
“Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na”:D

A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
“Hey vaheguru meri lottery lagady.”

After 11 years VaheGuru angrily appeared
& said,”Khoti de putar 1 vari ticket te le ley”

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Lawyer to sardar

Lawyer to sardar:geeta pe hath rakho
Sardar:Kamal hai, Seeta pe hath rakha
to baat court tak pohanch gaye,
ab bol raha he geeta pe hath rakho:p

posted in Sardar SMS

Traffic signal for aeroplane

Sardar saw a very high Airtel Tower
& red light glowing on the top,
seeing this he said �India is developing fast,
see there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air

posted in Sardar SMS

What is skeleton?

Interviewer:what is skeleton?
Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Examiner taking practical of sardar

In bio practical:
Examiner:Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it’s legs only?
Sardar:I don’t know.
Examiner:You failed, what’s your name?
Sardar:See my legs & tell my name

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

1st ever intelligent sardar.

1st ever intelligent sardar.

Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?

sardar: u can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything:-)

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

A sardar goes to a restaurant

A sardar goes to a restaurant
and his cell phone rings.
Wife: How are you?

Surprised Sardarji:Oji I am fine but
how did you know where I was?

posted in Sardar SMS

A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant

A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant
and puts his finger
on the last of menu: Bring this.

Waiter: Oh! you can’t get it
because he is the owner of restaurant.

A sardarji’s boy asked his dad:
What is a grownup joke?
Sardar ji replied:
any joke which is eighteen years old

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Monkeys play football

Sardar to doctor:
When I sleep, monkeys
play football in my dreams.

Dr:No problem,
just take this medicine b4 sleep.

Sardar: Kal se khaonga aaj final hai.

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Sardar english k paper main fail ho gaya

Sardar english k paper main fail ho gaya,
He did translation:

1.Main aam admi nahi hon
I’m not a mango man

2.Sarda or garma fruit hain.
Colda & hota r fruits

3.Mujhey bhi english ati hay
English comes 2 me also

4.do ro do chaar.
give and give four.

5.Mera taluk hari pur hazara se hay
I belong 2 green pur thousanda:)

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

A child after 3 month of marriage

A sardar had a child after 3 month of marriage.
He asked his wife ye 3 month k bad bacha kaise howa?

Wife replied:tumhari shadi ko kitna arsa hua?
sardar:3 months.

Wife: or meri shadi ko ?
Sardar: 3 months

Wife: or bacha kitne month k baad?
Sardar:3 month.

Wife: total kitne hue?
Sardar: oye 9 months & start dancing
Balle Balle;->

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

I will give both of them

Sardar 2 friend: Guess how many
coins I have in my pocket?
Friend:If I guess right, u give me 1?
Sardar:Oji, I will give both of them

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Money wrapped in a rubber band?

Sardarji to others:
Did anyone lose money wrapped in a rubber band?
One said, Yes I did
Sardar: Well, it’s your lucky day,
I found the rubberband!

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Sardar going to shikaar

Sardar darvaze pe GUN liye khara tha
Wife: y r u standing here?
Sardar: Sher k shikar pe ja raha hon
Wife: To jao na..!
Sardar: Kase jaon baher KUTTA khara hai

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Sardar selected a short girl to marry

Sardar selected a short girl to marry.

Why?

Because guru ji told him

Musibat jitni choti ho utna acha hai …:-P

Four guys
1 from Harward:
1 Oxford
1 Texas
&
a Sardar from Pujab university

1 common question:
What is the fastest thing in world?

Oxford:Light
Harvard:Thought
Texas:Blink of an eye
Sardar:It’s loose motions,
because last night I was lying in my bed
& before I could blink,think or turn on the lights,
it was over!

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Tring Tring Tring.

Tring Tring Tring.

Sardar: Hello kon bol raha hai?
Other side: Ji, main bol raha hon.
Sardar: oye ye to kamal ho gia,
idhar se bhi main hi bol raha hon.

posted in Misc SMS Jokes, Sardar SMS

How can you make seven even?

Teacher to Sardar: What is Number “Seven” , Even or Odd
Sardar: Even
Teacher: How can you make seven even?
Sardar:Remove the ‘S’!!

posted in Sardar SMS

Sardar made a call to the airport

Sardar made a call to the airport.

Asked,”How long is the journey from Punjab to America?”

Receiptionist: “One second sir….”.

Sardar: Ok, thank you..!!!

posted in Sardar SMS

A Sardar & his wife were waiting for train

A Sardar & his wife were waiting for train
itne main KHYBER MAIL aa gaye
Sardar bhag k train mein charha
or
apni wife se bola
jab khyber female aye to tum bhi ajana

posted in Misc SMS Jokes, Sardar SMS

Doctor suggested full body Xray

Sardar said to doctor:Pore jism main
kahin bhi ungli lagao to bohat dard hota hai,
Doctor suggested full body Xray
when he checked, Xray found fracture in “Ungli”

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

50% of sardars are not donkeys

Newspaper Mein News Lugi K
“50% Of Sardars Are Donkeys”

The Sardars Protested.

Next Day News Lagi K
“50% Of Sardars R Not Donkeys”

The Sardars Celebrated.

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Taxi driver to sardar

Taxi driver to sardar:-

Sardar ji petrol khatam ho gaya ha gaddi agay nahi ja rahi

sardar: Koi gal nahi gaddi piche lelo

Sardar: I hav’nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y did’nt u ecchanged?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody
2 exchange in the lower birth..

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

You are seeing my wife

Sardarji & his wife going to city in auto.
Driver adjusted miror.
Sardarji shouted you are seeing my wife.

Go & sit back. I will drive auto…:D

posted in Funny SMS, Sardar SMS

Sardar always smile during lightning storms

Q:- Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?

A:- They think their picture is being taken.

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