most populer shayari (sms)

ershad

# Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho, ??
hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.

Ladkiyon ke college me strike thi,
Ladke bhi unke saath the
..Ladkiyon ne naara lagaya.
..HUMARI MAANGE
Pichhe se awaaz aayi SINDHUR SE BHARO….

Durakht ke paymane pe chilman
E husn ka furkat se sharmana..
. Durakht ke paymane pe chilman
E husn ka furkat se sharmana…
Ye line samajh me aaye to mujhe zaroor batana

Gunghat Mein Tujhe Dekha To Deewanna Hua,
Sangeet Ka Taraana Hua, Shamaa Ka Parwana Hua,
Masti Ka mastaana Hua,
Jaise Hi Gunghat Uthaya Is Duniya Se Ravana Hua
# 3 khalid Says:
October 7th, 2006 at 7:59 am

very coool side please give me funny sms and pictures thanks
# 4 ~abY* Says:
October 7th, 2006 at 5:29 pm

Hey!! ppl..Nice shers..!
I’ve got sum too hope u’ll like it..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
suni zindagi mein hulchul si mehsoos hui,
bejaan dil ki dhadkan aaj mehsoos hui,
jaane kyun aisa laga,
shayad aapki kami mehsoos hui..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
bandookh chalai fire ho gaya..
bandookh chalai fire ho gaya..

…. ….
kuch bhi bak diya, to shayar ho gaya..!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

aapki ada..

aapki smile..

aapka chehra, aapka chalna..

aapka bolna..

uff ye aapka sharmaana..

aapki aankhein..

aapka andaz..

Uff bas ab kya kahun..
koi ek chiz to theek hoti aap mein..
# 5 ~abY* Says:
October 7th, 2006 at 5:34 pm

Kaash hum ek SMS hote,
ek click mein aapke paas hote,
bhale aap mujhe delete kar dete,
par kuch pal ke liye hum aapke paas to hote…
# 6 sachin Says:
October 8th, 2006 at 7:39 am

dushre ki amant ko dhekh kar heran mat ho,
khuda humhe bhi dega pareshan mat ho
# 7 ~abY* Says:
October 9th, 2006 at 3:46 pm

Patte yun hi hilte nahi,
hawa unko hilaati hai,
patte yun hi hilte nahi,
hawa unko hilaati hai,
..
ladke yun hi bigadte nahi,
ladkiyan unko bigadti hai…
# 8 9873402116 Says:
October 12th, 2006 at 2:27 pm

Mohabbatein In An IT Company:– Ek Trainee tha anjana sa………. coding karne se woh darta tha…….. Copy paste karke, idhar udhar se………….. pooch ke coding kiya karta tha………….. Choree choree…….. chupke chupke………. discussions mein soya karta tha… Jab delivery honee hotee thee raat raat bhar jagta tha… Kuch aata nahee tha usko………… jane kaise deliver karta tha………….. Jab bhee milta tha kisee doosre developer se, unse poocha karta tha… Coding kaisee hotee hai,……………… yeh coding kaisee hotee hai ………….? Aur voh developers bas yahee kah paate the….. “Ankhe khulee ho ya ho band deedar code ka hota hai… kaise kahoo mai o yaro yeh code kaise hota hai….. tururururururururu ru ru ru
# 9 alok Says:
October 13th, 2006 at 11:11 am

Ladkiyon ke college me strike thi,
Ladke bhi unke saath the
..Ladkiyon ne naara lagaya.
..HUMARI MAANGE
Pichhe se awaaz aayi SINDHUR SE BHARO….

Durakht ke paymane pe chilman
E husn ka furkat se sharmana..
. Durakht ke paymane pe chilman
E husn ka furkat se sharmana…
Ye line samajh me aaye to mujhe zaroor batana

Gunghat Mein Tujhe Dekha To Deewanna Hua,
Sangeet Ka Taraana Hua, Shamaa Ka Parwana Hua,
Masti Ka mastaana Hua,
Jaise Hi Gunghat Uthaya Is Duniya Se Ravana Hua

Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho, ??
hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.
# 10 Anonymous Says:
October 13th, 2006 at 1:45 pm

Hum tanhaiyo se nahi,mehfil se darte hai.
Hum zamane se nahi apne aap se darte hai.
Yuh toh bahut kuch khoya hai humne.
par naa jaane kyun aapko khone se darte hai….
# 11 the best singer VINOD Says:
October 14th, 2006 at 10:29 am

santa:-oye tu aaj doctor ke paas janewala tha na?
banta:-nahi yaar aaj tabiyat thodi kharab hai, kal jaaunga….
# 12 anu........ Says:
October 14th, 2006 at 6:41 pm

life is difficult,
Full of trials,pains and sorrows…
BUT if u fall down, just stand up straight , be confident & ask……..

ABBAY YEH DHAKA KIS NAY MARA……..???????
# 13 anu........ Says:
October 14th, 2006 at 6:45 pm

wafa itna karo k bewafai na rahay….
Aitebar itna karo k shaq na rahay….
Dosti itni karo k had he na rahay….
or
or

SMS itna karo k BALANCE he na rahay…..
# 14 anu........ Says:
October 14th, 2006 at 6:49 pm

No visit……

No calls……

No sms……..

No letters….

No missed calls….

I m WORRIED

kya howa????

kya ZOO walay dobara pakr k lay gay…..???????
# 15 shahzada Says:
October 17th, 2006 at 11:00 am

kuch khona hai kuch paana hai
jeevan ka khel puraana hai
jab tak ye saans chale gi
yaara ye to chalte jaana hai…

…kami…kami…kami…kami…kami…kami…
# 16 FAIZAN Says:
October 21st, 2006 at 1:26 pm

LADAYI KARNI HAI TO HAATHON SE KARO
TALWARON MAIN KIA RAKHA HAI
MOHABBAT KARNI HAI TO KHUDA SE KARO
IN LADKION MAIN KIA RAKHA HAI.
# 17 ANIL KUMAR DAS Says:
October 22nd, 2006 at 3:47 am

Na Juban Se,
Na Nighho se,
Na Dimag Se,
Na Rango Se,
Na Greetinngs Se,
Na Gift Se,
Aap ko “Nav Varsh Ki Subh Kamna” Direct Dil Se.
” HAPPY NEW YERA”
# 18 afiya kauser Says:
October 22nd, 2006 at 11:03 am

wow thats really nice comic shairs ….
# 19 ~abY* Says:
October 22nd, 2006 at 3:00 pm

Khuda bachaye hamein in haseenon se, naazneenon se, dilnasheenon se, jaaasheenon se… par inhe kaun bachaye hum kameenon se…
# 20 Sunil Says:
October 30th, 2006 at 10:53 am

Kisi ke pyar me gehri chot khayi hai,
wafa se pehle hi bewafai payi hai,
log dua mangte hai is haal me marne ki,
par humne usiki yaadon me
jeene ki kasam khayi hai….

Zindagi meri wafa ka jawab kya degi,
mujhe kya pata tha ke woh bewafa hogi,
woh khush hain hame barbadh karke,
fir bhi hum ro rahe hain use yaad kar ke….

Wo kehate hai majbur hai hum,
na chahte huye bhi tumse door hai hum,
chura li unhone dhadkne bhi humari,
phir bhi wo kehate hai be-kasur hai hum…

Pyar to hame karna tha,
par kuch khaas hua nahi.
Tajmahal to hame bhi banana tha,
par afsoss ke LOAN pass hua nahi…

Tum chale jaoge to koi kushi na rahegi,
tere bina chirago me roshni na rahegi,
kya kahe kya guzaregi dilpar,
Zinda to rahenge par zindagi na rahegi….

Koi ladki hame thukraye iska hame gam nahi…
Koi ladki hame thukraye iska hame gam nahi…
Badhnaseeb woh ladki hai jiske naseeb me ham nahi…

Aapki ek muskurahat ne hamarey hosh udaa diye.
aapki ek muskurahat ne hamarey hosh udaa diye.
hum hosh me aane hi wale the.
ki aap fir se muskura diye!

Dil Ki Dahleez pe Koi gum na ho,
Hamari ye doste kabhe kam na ho,
Aapko jahan ki sari khushiyan mile,
Bhale hi us khushi mein hum ho na ho

Anjane me dil humara gawa baithe,
iss pyar me kaise dil kho baithe,
unse kya gila kare bhul to hamari thi,
jo bina dil wale se dil laga baite…

Jiskepas kuch nahi uspe duniya hasti hai,
jiske paas sabkuch hai usse duniya jalti hai..
mere paass tho sirf aapki dosti hai,
jise paane ke liye duniya tarasti hai…

Der raat jab kisi ki yaad sataye,
thandi hawa jab zulfon ke sahlaye,
karlo aankhe band aur so jao,
kya pata jiska khayal hai
wo khwabon mein aa jaye…

Hum use bhula kar bhi nahi ji sake,
Hum use yaad rakh kar bhi nahi ji sake,
Mar jaate kabke unke bina
Par unki baaho ke bina mar bhi na sake……….

Kaash ye zalim judai na hoti….
rab tune ye chiz banai na hoti…
na hum unse milte na ye pyar hota…
zindagijo apni thi parai na hoti…..

Waqk guzrega hum bikhar jayenge,
kaun jane ki hum kidhar jayenge,
hum aapki parchayi hain yaad rakhna,
jahan tanhai mili waha hum nazar ayenge…

phool khiltay rahain zindagi ke raah mein
hasi chamakti rahay aap ki nigah mein
kadam kadam per mile khushi ke bahar apko
dil deta hai baar baar yehi dua app ko

Ram ne Danush toda to Sita Bhaag kar aayi….
Krishna ne Basuri bajayi to Radha daud ke aayi….
Hum ne sirf Siti bhajayi wo to Bapko le aayi…….

Gooood Mooooooooooooooorning India
bole to sachchai pe chalne ka
aur vinamrata se bolne ka.
In short Gandhigiri ki baat aur
dadagiri ki vaat lagane ka maamu…

Na hote ye sapne ye khwabon ki duniya
kisi ko chahat ki tamanna na hoti,
na julfo ki chaya na phulon ki khushbu,
yaadon me unki ye raatein na kat ti
jo na hoti mohabat ye ansu na hote
dil bhi na khota aj tanha na rota
diwanon si apni ye halat na hoti
agar jahan me kambakht ye MOHABBAT na hoti.

Unhone dekha aur ansu gir pade,
bhari barsat me jaise phul bikhar pade,
dukh vo nahi ke unhone hume alvida kaha,
dukh to ye hai ke uske baad vo khud bhi ro pade.

Hasrat hai sirf unhe paane ki,
aur koi khwaahish nahi is deewane ki.
shikwa mujhe unse nahi, khuda se hai,
kya zarurat thi unhe itna khoobsurat banane ki….

uski ek yaad bechain bana jati hai,
har gali me uski surat nazar aati hai,
kaisa haal kiya usne pyar me,
hamko neend aati hai to
ankhen bura maan jati hai……

Pathar jaisi dunya me dil apna laga baite,
kuch hi dino me meethe sapne saja baite,
rokte the pehle logo ko is aag se,
ab khud hi ko is aag me jala baite….

Zindagi kisi ki mohtaaj nahi hoti,
dosti sirf jazbaat nahi hoti,
kuch to khayal aaya hoga khuda ko,
varna yu hi aapki humse mulaqat na hoti.

Woh jate hue keh gaye ki ab to hum
sirf tumhare khwabo me hi aayenge,
koi keh de unse ki woh ek baar wada to karle,
hum zindagi bhar ke liye so jayenge…

Meri prem kahani ka kya ajeeb ENDING tha,
Izhar-E-Mohabbat kiya tha maine SMS se,
jo unki shaadi tak PENDING tha…..
# 21 its me Says:
November 1st, 2006 at 1:09 pm

Its funny when people discuss over “love marriage” and “arranged marriage”
it is like asking a person if he would like to “hang himself” o”shoot himself”.

Aap ne VEER-ZARA Film dekhi hai?
Film ke end mein jab VEER (Shahrukh Khan) buddha ho jata hai,
to aik khoobsurat poem mein apna haal sunata hai
“Main Qaidi Number 786, Jail ki salakhon se bahar deikhta hoon”.
Akhir mein uski ZARA ke sath shadi ho jati hai aur film wahin pe
khatam hoti hai. Leikin is ke baad VEER (Shahrukh Khan) kiya kehta hai?
Wo Hazir khidmet hey……

Main Shohar Number 420
Khirki se bahar deikhta hoon
larkiyon se bhari college ki Bus,
jab unhain chor k jaati hai
aik larki jo paros mein rehti hai,
mere saamne aati hai
khud ko Samiya kehti hai
mujhe Uncle bulati hai
aisi pariyon ko deikh kar,
bahar jaane ko jee karta hai
khirki se neeche kood kar,
hath milane ko jee karta hai
Apni Biwi ko chor kar,
bhaag jaane ko jee karta hai
Wo kehte hain uska Bhai tandrust hai bohat
phir bhi maar khane ko jee karta hai
wo kehte hain ab kuch hath nahin aaye ga
phir bhi kuch paane ko jee karta hai
# 22 rahul patel Says:
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:15 am

jo sadiyon se hata aaya hai …woh repeat kar dunga.
to na mili too tujhe…shift delete kar dunga.
# 23 sinchan Says:
November 3rd, 2006 at 4:57 pm

in shayarion ko badhai diya jaye to kam hogi
in shayarion ko badhayi diya jaye to kam hogi…
inke liye to mere har lafz nakam hogi!!

aise to hume naa samjhiye,
kabhie kabhie hum shayari kar lete,
aaj aapke is mehfil main,
humbhi aapna shayar aazma lete hain..

har pal hai pal bhar ke liye,
ji lo inhe tum har pal ke liye,
vaqt to yu fisal jayega ret ki tarah,
de jayegi yaade har pal ke liye.

maut pe yakin hai,
tum par bhi aetbaar hai,
dekho pehle kaun aata hain,
hume to sirf intezaar hain..
# 24 sinchan Says:
November 3rd, 2006 at 4:59 pm

mistake corrected

aise to hume sher naa samjhiye,
kabhie kabhie hum shayari kar lete,
aaj aapke is mehfil main,
humbhi aapna shayar aazma lete hain..
# 25 JItendra Prasad Says:
November 5th, 2006 at 10:08 am

abhi tu kali hai badihokar gulab banogi,
kitane ko jalakar kishi ek ka suhag banogi.

Tujjhe rup mati to log mujhe Tajmahal kahte hai
oparwatiaakar chhu mera charan log mujhe kaulash pati kahte hai
# 26 itsme Says:
November 5th, 2006 at 12:53 pm

6′2″ jiski height ho
Jeans dheeli magar body tight ho
Biwi ka her nakhra uthaye, itna mizaaj uska light ho
Husband apna aisa bright ho

Uff tak na kare itna quiet ho
Dinner banaye wo jab bhi romantic night ho
Shopping ker ke jab bhi aoon, bolay begum tum kitni nice ho
Husband apna aisa bright ho

Mujhay rani bana ker rakhay, to phir zindagi delight ho
Saas sussar ke samne kahay, jaan tum hamesha right ho
Hamesha jo haar maan jaye, jab bhi kabhi fight ho
Husband apna aisa bright ho

Jaha chahoon jaoon, jo chahy karoon, kuch is tarah ki life ho
Her doosray week ghoomne phirne ki flight ho
Aisa ho jaye to mein urron aasman mein, jaisay ke kite ho
Husband apna aisa bright ho
# 27 Rajat bansal Says:
November 6th, 2006 at 8:45 am

Aapake miss call bhi kya baat hain,
Aapke sms bhi din raat hain,
Kabhi kabhi phone bhi kiya karo,
Suna hain aapake awaaz me bhi khas baat hain.
• Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de,
Tadap raha hu kabhi to apna pyaar de,
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna,
Kam se kam ek Missed call he maar de
• Pyar ko mat chhupao, usey zarurat hai jatane ki, Apni pratibhaon ko mat chupao, unhe zarurat hai badhane ki, Ab aur perfume mat lagao, tumhe zarurat hai nahane ki.
• Jise koyal samjhe, woh kauwa nikla, dosti ke naam par hauwa nikla,
Jo roka karte they humein sharab peene se, aaj unki jeb se pauwa nikla.
• Pyaar sab ne rabb nu vakh-vakh ditta,
kise nu lakh te kise nu kakh ditta,
Sahnu tuhade jeha yaar ditta,
lakh ton v sava-lakh ditta.
# 28 amna Says:
November 6th, 2006 at 11:51 am

1.hum ne jub kabhi khushi mehsoos ki,
her kadam pe aap ki kami mehsoos ki,
dor reh ker bhi aap ki dosti kum na hui,
ye baat hum ne dil se mehsoos ki.

2.duniya mai 3 chezein kabhi bhi aa sekti hain
paisa……….mout………..our….our….our mera SMS

3.dost 1 sahil hai tufan k liye,
dost 1 aayina hai armano k liye,
dost 1 mehfil hai anjano k liye,
dost 1 kuahish hai aap jaise dost pane k liye.

4.D se DOSTI,D se DARD,D se DIL,D se DILLAGI,D se DEEWNGI PER,D se itna bhi
dur na ho jana k S se SMS or C se CALL bhi na ker sako….

5.dosti achi ho to rung lati hai
dosti gehri ho to sub ko bhati hai
dosti nadan ho to tut jati hai
per dosti hum jaison se ho to HISTORY bun jati hai.
# 29 hassan Says:
November 13th, 2006 at 10:58 pm

dosti achi ho to rung lati hai
dosti gehri ho to sub ko bhati hai
dosti nadan ho to tut jati hai
per dosti hum jaison se ho to HISTORY bun jati hai.

humne tum ko dil diya dildaar samajh ker tum kha gayi iss ko nasvaar samajh ker

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife
is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps
herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there
stands Bob,the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give
you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops
her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands
her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes
back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was
that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the
husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position
to prevent avoidable exposure.

(Read More…)

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12 Comments/Shayaris posted by users ·
[Joke] Exercise
Filed under: Jokes by Shayar |

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000/month.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she’s 97 years old and we don’t know where the hell she is.

The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

And last but not least…

I don’t exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

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2 Comments/Shayaris posted by users ·
Indian history by a Schoolboy [Funny Joke]
Filed under: Funny, Jokes by Shayar |

Indian History : Supposedly written by a schoolboy with all original spellings:

The original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who lived in two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Daro. These cities had the best drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain from them Ancient India was full of myths which have been handed down from son to father. A myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology, which means stories with female caricatures. One myth says that people in olden times worshipped monkeys because they were our incestors.

In olden times there were two big families in India. One was called the Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst themselves in a battle called Mahabharat, after which India came to be known as MeraBharat Mahan.

In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty. So named because they all died a nasty death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their capital from Delhi because of its pollution. They were followed by the Mowglis. The greatest Mowgli was Akbar because he extinguished himself on the battlefield of Panipat which is in Hurryana. But his son Jehangir was peace loving; he married one Hindu wife and kept 300 porcupines. Then came Shahajahan who had 14 sons. Family planning had not been invented at that time. He also built the Taj Mahal hotel for his wife who now sleeps there. The king sent all his sons away to distant parts of India because they started quarrelling. Dara Seiko was sent to UP, Shaikh Bhakhtiyar was sent to J & K, while Orangezip came to Bombay to fight Shivaji. However,after that they changed its name to Mumbai because Shivaji’s sena did not like it. They also do not like New Delhi, so they are calling it Door Darshan.

(Read More…)

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5 Comments/Shayaris posted by users ·
Ajit Jokes : Funny PJs , Movie Dialogues
Filed under: Jokes by Shayar |

Here are some jokes of good ol’ Ajit Khan (Lion) ;)

AJIT : Robert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
Robert : Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakke maar raha hai.
Ajit: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega.
Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
Robert : Yes Boss.
AJIT : (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards,
tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai ……. :)

(Scene - Ajit get’s hold of his favourite hero & then directs his chela.)
AJIT : Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein hara rang laga do.
Maikal : Lekin kyon baas?
AJIT : Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise range haathon pakad legi. he he he

(Read More…)

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13 Comments/Shayaris posted by users ·
Lage raho Munna bhai ( jokes )
Filed under: Jokes by Shayar |

PROFESSOR : Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?
MUNNA BHAI : Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.
______________________________

CIRCUIT : Bhai, Bapu NE bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI : Aye Circuit, who Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT : Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI : Par Circuit, abhi to TU bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT : Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.
(Read More…)

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46 Comments/Shayaris posted by users ·
Remix Pack 1 - Funny Shayari, Jokes all together.
Filed under: Funny, Funny Shayari, Jokes by Shayar |

Khuda Hi Khuda
Idhar khuda hai, udar khuda hai,
Jidar dekho udar khuda hai,
idhar-udhar bus khuda hi khuda hai
jidhar nahi khuda hai….udhar kal khudega!

Recent News Headlines : Softdrinks Contain Dangerous Pestcides.
Insan to newspaper padh sakte hain par janwaro ka
kya hoga kyonki…. Aaj kal CHEETAH BHI PEETA HAI !

Pyaar Ise Kehte Hain
Jawani ko zindage ki nikhaar kehte hain,
pathjad ko chaman ka majdhaar kehte hain,
Ajeeb chalan hain duniya ka yaaro,
Ek Dhoka hain Jise hum sab “PYAAR” kehte hain !

(Read More…)

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140 Comments/Shayaris posted by users ·
Blonde Sms Jokes - One
Filed under: Jokes by Neha |

She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She tripped on the cordless phone

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind

She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept

At the bottom of the application where it says “sign here”, she put Leo

If she spoke her mind, she would be speechless

When she heard that 90% of all crimes were around the home, she moved
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She tripped on the cordless phone

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind

She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept

At the bottom of the application where it says “sign here”, she put Leo

If she spoke her mind, she would be speechless

When she heard that 90% of all crimes were around the home, she moved

Q : Why are blonde jokes so short?
A : So men can remember them.

Q : Why do men like blonde jokes so much?
A : Because they can understand them

Q : How do you make a blonde’s eyes twinkle?
A : Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q : What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A : They’re both empty from the neck up.

Q : Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A : From crawling across the street when the sign said “DON’T WALK”

Q : Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A : So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills

Q : What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A : Far-from-thinking

Q : Why can’t blondes put in light bulbs?
A : They keep breaking them with the hammers.

Q : What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A : She slipped off and fell down the drain

Q : Why did the blonde dye her hair red?
A : Instant Intelligence!

Q : Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A : Because they can spell it

Q : Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
A : It took her months to figure out she could use it at night!

Q : Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice?
A : Because it said “concentrate”

Q : What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle?
A : A dope ring

Q : Why can’t blondes be pharmacists?
A : Because they can t fit the bottle in the typewriter

Q : What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: OH, LOOK!! Donut seeds!!

Q: What are two reasons why blondes don’t mind their own business?
A : No mind. No business

Q :Why did 18 blondes go to a movie?
A : Because below 18 was not allowed

Two blondes were driving to Tokyo Disneyland when they saw a sign that read, “Tokyo Disneyland Left”, so they turned around and went home

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34 Comments/Shayaris on “Blonde Sms Jokes - One”

1. 1 Kamlesh Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 10:21 am

Dear, Neha u have posted really cool stuff. It’s rally when u got totally exhausted and want to relax. I will let my friends the address of this site.
2. 2 Neha Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 1:40 pm

Oh thank you Kamlesh, thats so sweet of you. :D
3. 3 Syed Ummer Says:
March 15th, 2006 at 11:26 am

its great time pass neha specially when we wanna laugh.. good job done…..Syed Ummer
4. 4 priyesh Says:
March 22nd, 2006 at 7:11 am

Pyaar kamjor dil se kiya nahi ja sakta,
Zeher Dushman se liya nahi ja sakta,
Dil mein basi hai ulfat jis pyar ki
us ke bina jiya nahi ja sakta.
5. 5 a windows user Says:
April 19th, 2006 at 8:52 am

Some thoughts are better kept unsaid…some feelings are better kept to urself…coz love has its own way of expressing itself…DESPITE SILENCE…How was that???;)
6. 6 safina khan Says:
April 26th, 2006 at 4:28 pm

1st time i have visited this site and it realy made me laugh keep up the excellent work i am sure a lot of surfers will agree with me
7. 7 Reenal Says:
April 28th, 2006 at 2:08 pm

haan maine bhi pyaar kiya hai
…….
8. 8 koi to hai Says:
May 8th, 2006 at 6:23 pm

ooohhh i agree with u safina :D
these r brilliant, love em all
plz keep sending
9. 9 Sumble Says:
June 8th, 2006 at 12:35 am

WOW They all great stuff keep it up ppl

*Tari Dil main mari sanaoo ko panah mill jaye
Tare Ishaq main mari jaan fanaa ho jayee*

xxI LOVE THEM WORDSxx

what ulot think :P
10. 10 rajib Says:
June 22nd, 2006 at 3:04 pm

1st time i have visited this site and it realy made me laugh keep up the excellent work i am sure a lot of surfers will agree with me. i enjoy this type of SMS and this is the easiest way to make friends and came closer.
11. 11 waseem(shobu) Says:
July 9th, 2006 at 2:04 pm

Pyaar kamjor dil se kiya nahi ja sakta,
Zeher Dushman se liya nahi ja sakta,
Dil mein basi hai ulfat jis pyar ki
us ke bina jiya nahi ja sakta.
12. 12 zore always for you Says:
July 9th, 2006 at 2:09 pm

twikle-twikle little sardar, we all wonder wat they are upabove the judi so high, like an antina in the sky,dimag ka portion always dry ,ab to hunss do yaaron don’t be shy
13. 13 RAMAN Says:
August 24th, 2006 at 5:00 am

Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian.

The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, “Who killed Jesus Christ?” The Jewish man answered without hesitation. “The Romans killed him.”

The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the Same question. He replied “Jesus was killed by the Jews.”

Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying,”Could I have some time to think about it?”

The chief said,”OK, but get back to me tomorrow.” When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked “How was the interview ?”. Sardarji replied, “Great, I got the job, and I’m already investigating a murder..
14. 14 RAMAN Says:
August 24th, 2006 at 5:02 am

21 Reasons Why best Friends are Better Than Boyfriend/Girlfriend…

1.You don’t have to call them every day, just to let them know you’re not fighting

2.You don’t have an anniversary-you just sort of “became” best friends.

3.When someone calls your girlfriend/boyfriend your “partner” it makes you think of marriage. When they call your best friend our partner, it’s more
like cops.

4.You never have to touch your best friend when it’s
hot outside, but you
can still huddle close when it’s freezing.

5.Your parents usually like your best friend.

6.Your best friend doesn’t care if you get fat, you’re
ugly, or if you get a ard haircut.

7.You don’t have to get jealous of “girls only” night
or “guys only” night — You’re part of it!

8.You can laugh at your best friend with no consequences.

9.You can burp/fart in front of your best friend on
any occasion.

10.You can plan on still having a relationship with
your best friend in 20 years.

11.Never in your life will you need “space” from your
best friend.

12.Your best friend won’t be mad if you want some time
alone, and will only ask you “what’s wrong?” once.

13.Your best friend is someone you get in trouble
with; your boyfriend/girlfriend is someone you get in trouble
with if you get in trouble.

14.You don’t have to get dressed up to go anywhere
with your best friend.

15.You’re allowed to have multiple best friends.

16.No one ever spreads rumors or talks about you and
your best friend’s relationship.

17.Borrowing any amount of money from your best friend
is okay, no questions asked.

18.Your best friend will never refer to you as “the
ball and chain,” “the old lady/man,” or “the whip.”

19.No one is ever trying to fix you up on blind dates
for a new best friend.

20.It doesn’t matter what your “other” friends think
about your best friend.

21. Your best friend is the first person you call when
you get a new boy friend / girl friend, and when you break up with them.
15. 15 RAMAN Says:
August 25th, 2006 at 10:10 am

Ravan had 20 eyes but he sighted only one woman ….you have only 2 eyes
but you sight every woman. Now who is Ravan?

****************************

Scientists are trying to figure out how long a person can live without
brain. Please tell them your age!

*****************************

Santa: Yaar bachpan mein 20 male se gir gaya tha.
Banta: to fir bach gaya ya mar gaya?
Santa: yaad nahin hai bahut purani baat hai.

*************************

Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar aa raha hai….ghar ke sab khilone
chhupa de.
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, woh apne khilone pahechan lega.

*********************

In aptitude test…River Kaveri is in which state?
Sardar: liquid state.

*************************

INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught
fire?
Sardar: Simple, stop imagining.

****************************

Sardar 100 watt bulb par baap ka naam likh raha tha.
Baap ne puchha “kya kar rahe ho?”
Sardar : baap ka naam roshan kar raha hoon.

***********************

Two Sardars were walking together.
1st Sardar: Yaar mar gaya , meri biwi aur premika saath aa rahi hain.
2nd Sardar: oye, main bhi yehi bol raha tha.

**************************

Sardar: in my dreams rats play football every night.
DR: take this tablet you will be ok.
Sardar: Can I take tommorrow, tonight is final game.
16. 16 ali Says:
September 18th, 2006 at 11:40 pm

phool to bohat hain magar gulaab jaisa koi nahi
log to bohat hain magar tumhare jesa koi nahi
17. 17 rohit Says:
September 30th, 2006 at 5:31 am

del deya hi ja be denge a sanam tere leye
teri bap ke propati nam kra de mere leye
18. 18 Gurmeet Says:
October 4th, 2006 at 6:17 am

SSA ji… that murder mystry joke was hilarious… i laughed for 10 min straight… really..

but anyway DID HE SOLVED THAT MURDER MYSTRY……………..

heheheheheehe

just kidding alright
19. 19 salman jani Says:
October 9th, 2006 at 5:41 pm

Your brain will be REFRESHED in next 5 seconds.
5…….
4….
3..
2…
1…,
0…
Loading…
Error: No Brain Detected.
20. 20 atul Says:
October 13th, 2006 at 6:33 pm

itna kamjor hua CHIKANGUNIYA SE
itna kamjor hua CHIKANGUNIYA SE
chintiya utha le gayi khatiya se