Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
Jab dosti ki dastan waqt sunayega,
Tumko bhi koi shaks yaad ayega,
Tab bhool jayenge zindgi ke gam ko,
Jab apke sath guzara samay yaad ayega.
Don’t rush in love for it never runs out. Let love be the one to knock at your door, so by the time you start to fall, you know that your feeling is for sure.
What’s missing in H__RT? EA or U? Pick EA & you’ll get a heart! If u pick U, you’ll get hurt! I'd pick U coz it's better to get hurt than hv a heart without U.
To live this life I need a heartbeat, to have a heartbeat I need a heart, to have a heart I need happiness and to have happiness I need you!
I have liked many but loved very few yet no one has been as sweet as you. I'd stand & wait in the world's longest queue just 4 the pleasure of a moment with u.
Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!
How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja.
Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.
Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What’s he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform.
Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!
A: He wanted to see butterfly!
What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.
Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.
Banta: Oh! That’s terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions
Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"
Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pappu: Life imprisonment!
Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!
Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."
Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.
Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"?
Santa: It beats, beats, beats.
Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.
Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.
Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.
Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"
A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
Jab dosti ki dastan waqt sunayega,
Tumko bhi koi shaks yaad ayega,
Tab bhool jayenge zindgi ke gam ko,
Jab apke sath guzara samay yaad ayega.
Don’t rush in love for it never runs out. Let love be the one to knock at your door, so by the time you start to fall, you know that your feeling is for sure.
What’s missing in H__RT? EA or U? Pick EA & you’ll get a heart! If u pick U, you’ll get hurt! I'd pick U coz it's better to get hurt than hv a heart without U.
To live this life I need a heartbeat, to have a heartbeat I need a heart, to have a heart I need happiness and to have happiness I need you!
I have liked many but loved very few yet no one has been as sweet as you. I'd stand & wait in the world's longest queue just 4 the pleasure of a moment with u.
Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!
How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja.
Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.
Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What’s he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform.
Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!
A: He wanted to see butterfly!
What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.
Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.
Banta: Oh! That’s terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions
Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"
Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pappu: Life imprisonment!
Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!
Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."
Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.
Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"?
Santa: It beats, beats, beats.
Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.
Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.
Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.
Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"
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